[tryingtobeme]

Just a few of my feelings right now. I can't seem to meet up with any of my IRL friends. They all seem to have abandoned me. My T is gone until Monday, has been all week. I feel a need to talk to him, be close to him...but I can't be. It feels like my heart is actually hurting with him being gone. I have been working very hard in therapy about the loss of my parents, or I should say the loss of my parents in my life. They are still alive but have offically nothing to do with me. It's been about a month now since they have been gone out of my life for good. My T says it's not a bad thing since they only cause me more heartache, sadness, and still abuse me.

I feel lost with my feelings, I'm not really even sure what I am feeling, just a state of confusion, no one feelings except abandonment seems to be screaming in my head. But I know there is more there, but where are they. Maybe the abandonment is just to strong.

I feel so under pressure, not enough time to do what I need to do, can't even keep myself together, physically, emotionally....mentally, I'm all over. How can I even begin to solve anything. All the tasks seem so daunting and seem like they will talk forever. Where do I go, where do I begin, where the heck am I???

[lonegael]

TTBM, I am so sorry that you have been left wwith these feelings. I know form others that one can really feel cut off at the roots when ne's parents disown one. Trying to establish your identity without your family can be very hard.

Don't try to do everything all at once. when you don't fell well, it's easy to lose sight of how to break down each thing that has to be done into smally, easy to do parts. Try to do that with everything that seems like too much. And don't worry about getting it done perfectly. Some things just need to be done.

Hang in there, hon. It will get better. Right now, you just have to find away for the wonds to heal, and it doesn't sound like the folks were helping you out much with that. I know that doesn't always make things easier to know that, but anyway. HUGGGGGSSSS and a quiet hand on your head to try to stop the screaming.

[MiddleAgedMan]

I really wish I had something I could say that would make it better for you; please just know that we're with you.

[tryingtobeme]

Thank you Lonegael. The pressure to be the perfect wife and mother is so strong. I want this feeling to end. Thanks for understanding.

MiddleAgedMan - It's okay that you are not sure what to say or have something to make it better. Just knowing that you read what I wrote and that you are here is great. Thank you.

[jen29]

((((trying))))

I want to send you big hugs and tell you that you are a very important person. I am sorry for the way things are going for you and wish healing was easier. I hope that you continue in your journey with your T and that you can talk about whatever it is you need to talk about.

Know that I am here for you always and care for you very much.

With much love,
Jen