Lost and confused and have no idea what to feel or think??

When I was 15 I was sexually molested by my grandfather and I reported it. My mother was furious at ME because she thinks I lied about it. She even went to the extent of putting me into a foster home and telling the judge she gave all her rights of me away. After awhile she took me back. Well actually when I had my daughter she got back into my life. When my daughter was 20 months old me and her was kidnapped for almost 6 weeks. When I finally got away I wanted to go take my daughter and go home. The state I was kidnapped too absolutely refused to let me leave because I was the primary witness in the case. They even went to the extent of putting my daughter in a foster home which I did not approve. I called my mom and asked her for help! She brought a lawyer and some paperwork to me in the state I was in and signed it. It was suppose to be for guardianship but after they left I read it and it was terminating my parental rights! I asked my mom why she did this and she said its the only way the state would let her take my daughter. I found out differently after the trial when i went home and she was adopting my daughter. I have been deeply hurt by this over the years. I have a hard time going to see them or even calling! But I am 35 now and I am trying to have my mom in my life. But she dont want to see me. I live everyday just wondering why? How can a mom do this? Im tired of crying and have nowhere to turn!

Hello & Welcome, Sadlifeafterall!

Wow. Multiple severe traumas and an "interesting" mother. Well, you've found PsychCentral. It's not a cure-all, but it's close to a commiserate-all. Please be sure to check out the Survivors of Abuse forum, too.
Too Short a Reply: Moms are people, and people can be . . . toxic. In fact, that might be an area for you to explore -- "toxic parent."

hard life to say the least. All I can say is you can't change how your mom thinks or feels, you can only work on yourself. You need help sorting thru this, and a counselor or therapist would be the best way to go. Good luck, I wish you well.