[googley]

I was really hoping that the good news I about getting a babysitting job and so being able to afford T would make me feel better. But it doesn't. I still feel awful. I really just wanted these things to make me feel better. I really needed to feel better before the winter when things usually get worse. And now I don't know what will happen.

[Rohag]

Hi, Googley! I'm sorry you don't feel better with the good news, but that doesn't surprise me -- judging by my own depressive experience. It's just so darned characteristic of depression!

I wish you the best with the babysitting job and the revival of therapy. May something you wouldn't expect, possibly something "irrational," bring a little light into your life

[justjoanie]

We're here for you Googley.
Sure wish you were feeling better.
Good luck with the babysitting, and the T.
PM me anytime!

[googley]

I'm scared that I'm not going to be able to get the second job I need. I wont know if I get a second interview till the middle-end of this week. I really need this second job so I don't have to worry about money every day. I hate this waiting game. I can't deal with the stress.

[Naturefreak]

I'm here with hugs Googley

[tangodream]

Originally Posted by googley

I was really hoping that the good news I about getting a babysitting job and so being able to afford T would make me feel better. But it doesn't. I still feel awful. I really just wanted these things to make me feel better. I really needed to feel better before the winter when things usually get worse. And now I don't know what will happen.

I understand where you are coming from. I lost my job in December 2008 and have been looking for work ever since. Then, last Monday, I got an interview offer, interviewed on Tuesday, & a job offer by late Tuesday afternoon. Right exactly at the point my unemployment was going to run out, too. You think I'd be thrilled, right?

No, I'm not. I feel worse than I did before I finally secured a job. Why? I don't know. My guess is that depression short-circuits how the brain feels emotions & maybe even makes it--or us--forget how to feel good when good things happen.

Change, good or not so good, is always a hard thing to face too. You get used to a situation, even sometimes achieve a level of comfort in the way things are, & then a big change comes out of nowhere & shakes everything up. You'd think if was a change you were working towards would make you happy, right? And then when it doesn't, you don't know why & that makes you feel even worse.

I wish I could say why you & I are not feeling good feelings in response to positive events...but I can't. All I can do for both of us is to hope we get better & pray.

Try to take care of yourself.

Kim

[googley]

I hate myself. I hate my life. It hurts. It never ends. I feel so alone. I want my life back. I want to be able to enjoy my life. I don't remember the last time I was ever able to really enjoy it. I feel worthless. I feel like there is no reason for anyone to care about me. Everyone would be better off without me.

[cybermember]

I don't think everyone would be better off without you.

[Amazonmom]

Not true Googley. I look forward to your posts and wish the depression would leave you.

[Elana05]

Hi Googley. Thinking of you. How have you been feeling?

Elana