Feeling Isolated

It's been a long time since I could say I was not depressed. But over the last couple of years, I've let friendships decay. I rarely (if ever) returned phone calls or emails; I just didn't feel up to putting on a mask of normalcy and I didn't think I could let anybody in to see my reality. Faking feeling chipper is exhausting. I'm apparently a phenomenal actress, but I couldn't keep up the charade any longer, so I just pushed everybody away by avoiding contact.

Now that I am able to do some of the things that will help me get better (besides attending weekly therapy and taking my prescription meds, which I've done all along), I find myself feeling extremely lonely, isolated. My husband is very supportive and my parents and siblings have been good, too, but I miss having a social life. I'm unemployed and am having a heck of a time finding something (more on that in a subsequent post, most likely), so I don't see anybody regularly besides my husband and therapist. I feel an emptiness which I think friendship might fill. But the people I used to call friends have moved on with their lives and are super-busy. Of my 3 closest friends, two have one-year-old children and the third accepted a job that requires her to travel 80% of the time to places all over the globe. When she's not traveling, she and her husband live 4 hours away.

I don't know how to make new friends, or even how to meet them. My first thought was to find a common interest, but I don't really have any interests. I've been depressed for so long, I don't even remember why I once liked things I used to like. I don't seem to get enjoyment out of doing much of anything, except cuddling with my dogs (which I do as part of my daily routine). Can anyone offer some advice? I want to find people I can hang out with, grab a coffee/tea with, see a movie with, go shopping with, or maybe go out dancing with. I think those are things that normal friends do together, right? But how do I meet people? And is there any way to find a hobby or activity that I could enjoy while I feel so blah?

Hello & Welcome, KaberBeth! I've never attended any of their meetings, but I'm aware some have restarted a social existence through Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA) support groups -- DBSA Group Directory Home.

"cuddling with my dogs" -- That's wonderful therapy!

I need to find more friends too. I found http://www.meetup.com/ and have joined a few different interest groups in my area. Now I just have to get out of the house and meet some people! Maybe meetup will work for you too.

KaberBeth - it sounds like you are doing well since you want to go out & have new relationships & that is great!! I am still overcome by the exhaustion after having to act "normal" at work all week & tend to isolate myself on the weekends. I have some really good friends but have trouble committing to doing things because I don't know how bad I will be on that day. Hopefully new adjustments to my meds will start working soon. I don't really have any advise for you on getting new friends. I just wanted to pat you on the back for getting to the point of wanting them. : )

I glad you want friends. It's hard to find ones you can trust and that are kind enough to understand how you feel. Wishing you lots of luck