[puddlesup]

Hi, first posting besides my introductory one. I suffer from schizoaffective depressed and as I said in my introductory posting that I am in a deep depression right now. I feel so lost and alone. It's all I can do to hang on a day at a time. Certain family members pretend like they understand and then turn on you and make you feel like a loser. How I wish that I could just snap out of it. What I would'nt give to be able to just snap out of it. I thought that reaching out to others might help the loneliness and isolation some what. Sorry for the rambling had to start getting it out somehow.
Thanks
Puddlsup

[lynn P.]

Welcome to PC ((puddlesup)). I'm sorry you feel lost ATM...no one should feel this way. It does help to connect with others online. Do you have a therapist?

[puddlesup]

I am not seeing a therapist at this time. I ended up in the hospital this summer and started seeing a new psychiatrist but never went back to any therapist. Right now is just such a hard, lonely time. If it wasn't for certain people in my life that make me want to hang on it would be so much easier for it to all be over with (did that even make any sense?) Sometimes I just don't know what to hang on to anymore.

[callingforthesun]

puddles, i feel the same way. the only people i can truly be honest with about how i feel are the people i met in the outpatient program at the hospital and the folks here. no one else understands. everyone else close to me in real life that knows about my depression admits that they don't understand. so i end up not reaching out because i don't want to overwhelm them or have them take turns putting me on suicide watch. *sigh* i feel totally lost. and yeah, it's the same for me- the only reason i stick around is because i don't want to hurt the people who love me. it's a good enough reason, but it doesn't make the pain go away. people ask me about the future and i say "i have to concentrate on getting through today." i'd suggest finding a therapist, though. that does help.

[WikidPissah]

hi puddlesup, I am in a similar place...I know the pain, the loneliness, the deep dark hole that we fall into. I keep going for my kids...although they are young adults now. A therapist can help though, and medications can alleviate the pain a bit...at least for a while. I had several months without depression on medication...that gives me hope. Currently it seems like it stopped working, but I try to tell myself it's temporary.