[Kiffygirl0793]

I can't handle being this way anymore. I'm 40 years old and am on about 3 anti-depressants plus ritalin. I have no friends, I've lost so many jobs and I'm pretty sure I'm gonna lose this new job I have as well (it's only temporary anyway). I want to die, but I can't, my daughter needs me, but she sees how depressed I am, I know I've been a good mom, but I hate this life, I HATE IT!!! I feel like God is punishing me and I know people have worse problems, I don't know, just needed to vent. Thanks for listening.

[Rohag]

-- And we're willing to listen more.

In another post you said you enjoyed this job. Is that still the case? Do you think the Ritalin is working well with the antidepressants, or is it working against them? Your daughter is old enough to understand what depression is, yes? (Please pardon the questions and feel free to ignore them. This is your thread.)

Wishing you a calm spirit, Kiffygirl0793.

[Alesis]

I am so sorry that you feel really bad...it is difficult to handle life when so much happens that seems overwhelming. Losing jobs is frustrating, but it will be OK. It is better to lose jobs if you need to focus on yourself for awhile. When life gets overwhelming, can you take your daughter for an ice cream cone? It always makes me smile, maybe it will you and your daughter.

[NuckingFutz]

Hey Kiffy and welcome! Maybe some therapy would be in order so that you can be a better you with knowledge on how your illnesses work and how to tell when meds are or are not working for you. Plus there is a lot of information on here to read and learn about.

[Kiffygirl0793]

I do enjoy the job, but I don't think my boss likes me, I still feel like I'm screwing everything up, I've been and out of therapy for years, my pdoc did have me up my Prozac, but there was some confusion with the prescription, ugh, it's a long story. I think Ritalin might be contributing to it, I'm not taking any today, I'll see how I feel. My daughter does know what depression is, but I don't think anyone really knows what it feels like unless they go thru it themselves. I just wanna go on disability and hide from the world forever. I don't even have friends or a boyfriend like normal people. I obviously was never meant to be here. But I don't feel suicidal, I would never do that to my daughter, that would mean she would live with her father, who lives with his step-mother, who is a witch.