Please help me

I can't believe this. I have clinical depression but this morning I couldn't stop crying. Still can't. My husband said he couldn't deal with all that crying and I had the power to stop it, I was the only one who could help me. Finally, after that made me cry harder, he said I could either go in the bedroom to cry or he would have to leave for the day until I could get myself together. I'm got to pull myself together quick, because I'm a nurse and have to go in at 6 p.m. for a 12-hour shift. Have to work the next two nights after that, too. Any thoughts on how to get myself together and stay that way?

Welcome newnurse39212; I mostly post on the bipolar forum, but I just wanted to welcome you. I was right where you were in 2007 prior to my diagnosis trying to fake myself through work (which also includes shift work, I'm a Gaming and Liquor Inspector). I had wished someone had told me to go see a Psychiatrist for help. I ended up seeing my GP and the anti-d's through me into a mixed state and I ended up being hospitalized for 6 weeks.

If you haven't spoken to a mental health professional yet I would suggest seeing your GP and asking for a referral to a Psychiatrist. Therapy may also help. If you feel like you are unsafe please go to the Hospital.

It's hard to reach out for help, and I would think it's doubly hard when you are in a profession that puts you in a position of always helping others. Please don't do what I did and reach out for help before it gets worse. I would also suggest taking a leave from work. I hope you start feeling better soon and I'm glad you decided to join.

Hi newnurse! I totally agree with blueoctober about the need for professional help. And I really hope you're able to get some. When your husband says that "you have the power to stop it", I don't think that's true. Unfortunately there is a lot of ignorance surrounding mental illness and many people still fail to realize that, when we are clinically depressed, it takes a lot more than "willpower" to get over it. We need professional help, and there is nothing wrong with that!! Mental Illness is just as real as any physical illness and I really hope you're able to see a psychiatrist and that he/she can get you started on an effective form of treatment, be that medication or therapy or a combination of different options.

Good luck to you!

This is the prejudice/discrimination that we with mental illness have to deal with day in/day out.

Those who have never experienced depression find it hard to empathize and instead believe we are "faking" or "can snap out of it upon will" when this isnt the case at all.

That attitude makes me really upset and disappointed, not much for myself but for my friends. I really sympathise, because it sucks.

What does your husband know about depression? Some places that I found helpful for extra information and support, are these. The second link is a brochure which you can print off.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/depression/MH00016

Hm, I can't find the brochure. I guess it is not of utmost importance, here are some others I did find.

http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/Page...=about_helping

I only post these because I believe that education is the stop to ignorance. Once your husband understands illness better, he might be able to be more supportive.

I also agree with what the others have said about professional help. In the mean time, you can come here, or email jo@samaritans.org, or contact other helplines or family or friends. I'm glad you decided to register here

Goodness, I do hope you husband will read more about clinical depression--or talk to an expert about it. As the other people are suggesting, are you seeing a doctor about it? You do need to start treatment. And remember that it can take up to a couple of weeks for an anti-depressant to really kick in, once you have started.

"Clinical depression" is a true, bona fide illness-- a physical illness. Do you have any "sick leave"? Like any other health problem, it will take time to get it under control, so you might need to take some time off from work. It's not something you can just "get over." People just can't "get over" pneumonia or diabetes, for example! Hang in there!

It's a sad fact that the person usually the closest to you cannot cope with the crying and always end up saying that only you can stop it. If only it were that easy. If we could control any of what is happening to us, it would be great to just be able to shake it all off and make it go away. Wishing you all the best.

Actually my husband uses the "snap out of it" phrase. Like I'm going to say "oh wow good thing you said that, I feel much better now."

WTF

Hi newnurse39212, have you spoken to your doctor about your depression/started on meds..at the lowest times it is very hard to see any light,but it is there...some things you can do are to take some sick time from work..the work will always get done by somebody... you say that you "have" to go to work,but you sound like you need to give yourself some breathing space,start by looking after you... see your doctor and talk your feelings through with him/her.Do you have a supportive manager?
Keep posting and know that there is a lot of support here for you...iam trying to find just one thing every day that makes me smile....today it was watching a cat lazing under the apple tree at the bottom of the garden..it was raining hard but the cat was just watching it all whilst lying down..as if he were waiting for it to stop...how nice to be able to take some time out..a lesson for us all there i feel..wise cat..