[Christiee]

Right now I feel so unhappy. I am tired of complaining, but this is my place to vent and get all your opinions and support. I don't know where to start. Frst of all my $ situration is horrible. I really have to start looking for a job outside of waitresssing again b/c the waitressing thing is not good for me in many ways. I have been training at this new place for watressing, but I am not into it anymore. I have been out of the corporate world for a year now after getting laird off. I never really felt like i succeded in any of my jobs. But I have to try again and hopefully my mental stuff is better now that I can focus more on my job. I don't even know where to start. Next - I don't know if I can afford living on my own at this point and have been thinking about sublettingmy apt and moving in with my mom and brother temporarily to save money. I am trying to work on this debt consolidation thing which is going to be like $700 a month. I am 33 and my life is such a mess still. I have no boyfrriend or hopefulls in that area. I know I need to get my life together before I can think of that. or at least get on my feet and on the right road.
All I want to do is curl up in a ball somewhere and forget about everything.
I don't have health insurance so my meds are running out. I can't take all this anymore. Part of me thinks nothing will ever be better. I know I have to take the steps to at least try to get things better, but I don't feel like I even have the strenghth to do that.
I was supposed to get up early today to try to at least clean my apt which is a mess. Everything a mess. I didn't get up early, got up like at noon. I am still upset that an ex didn't email me back about getting together. Maybe I just want someone to make it all better for me. I don't know. I just can't take this life anymore. I am not talkiing about killing myself, although I have some thoughts sometime. I can't afford a therapist right now. Maybe it would be good to live with my mom while I get on my feet, although she ihas her own mental crap amongst other things. I don't know. Thanks for listening.
I am going to try to do something, although I am almost out of my anxiety meds which help me get thru this.
C

[deepthinker]

Let nothing hold you back from
exploring your wildest fantasies,
wishes, and aspirations.
Don't be afraid to dream big
and to follow your dreams
wherever they may lead you.
Open your eyes to their beauty;
open your mind to their magic;
open your heart to their possibilities.
Only by dreaming will you ever discover
who you are, what you want,
and what you can do.
Don't be afraid to take risks,
to become involved,
to make a commitment.
Do whatever it takes to make
your dreams come true.
Always believe in miracles,
and always believe in you!

-Julie Anne Ford

Sending many positive thoughts your way. Take care
*hugs*


It all depends on how we look at things, and not how they are in themselves. C.G Jung

[darkeyes]

Hey Deep
I liked that, it is inspirational, thanks
** hugs **
"darkeyes"

[jenniscared]

That was beatiful.... You should take a bow.......

[bptoo]

Deep took everything I was going to say...except I wasn't going to credit the author. Just kidding matie!

Christiee, I've had it said to me so often that, "God never gives you more than you can handle". I don't buy into this, not for a minute, I think He/She gives us more than we can handle all the time. It's how we choose to deal with it that really counts. I'm a big believer in taking baby steps and the one day at a time theory. It's hard for most people with depression or not, that when they look at the problems in their life to not look at the big picture. And when you do that, it can't help but feel overwhelming. But when you take these problems, break them down into their pieces, they seem a little easier to take. Then take one problem at a time, do what you need to do to make them as manageable as possible, and work them thru. One by one these things become stuff you don't have to focus so much energy on and can spend more time taking care of you.

I know how overwhelmed you feel, I've been there. But take all issues in your life and deal with them a little at a time and I believe you'll get to where you need to be. It won't be easy but it'll be worth the effort. Again, take good care of you.

Be well Christiee,
bp

"A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart."

[Christiee]

Thanks to all of you. hugs.
xo xo
C

[Fuzzybear]

Thinking of you, wherever you are!