[Overcastbutclearing]

I think I brought on too much attention when I started talking about about a time line .
Too much attention can distract me from remembering that I have too much hurt, pain and embarrassment to live any type of normal life.
I am 36 but feel 6. I look at people my same age and I do not compare to them. It is like I do not have a concept of what it is like to feel 36.

I woke up this morning with one thought "The beast must go away!"
And, I happen to be the beast.

[Fuzzybear]

All I can say to this is that I relate....

Thinking of you,
Black Slime Bear

[Renwolf]

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sj0401 said:
I am 36 but feel 6. I look at people my same age and I do not compare to them. It is like I do not have a concept of what it is like to feel 36.

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I can very much understand what you're saying. I'm going to turn 30 in November. Mentally, emotionally, I feel like I'm about 12. I don't feel like I've matured enough to be this old. I have no advice, just wanted to let you know I understand.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>

I woke up this morning with one thought "The beast must go away!" And, I happen to be the beast.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Please don't go away.

[Hope4me2]

I agree with the others...I too feel the same way and totally understand

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{sj}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

[Overcastbutclearing]

Yeah, that is what I need to so...put on my "I am just fine, thanks for asking face" so that when I slip away out of the reach of the monsters no one will notice.
I am not sure when is best though, maybe the middle of the night?
I just want to go to a special place full of care, love, and happiness...

[__zh]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I just want to go to a special place full of care, love, and happiness...

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> you mean like psychcentral?

((sj))

quietly here holding hope for you...
__zh

[Fuzzybear]

if only......

((((( sj )))))

[Overcastbutclearing]

Just a little note here...I am trying to just ignore everything. I even called my T and canceled my appt on Weds. because I need a break from dealing with everything.
For every one issue I start dealing with 10 more seem to take shape. And, I am just tired of being the woman who cannot get it together!
I am so over all of this.
So, if I have to lock it all up again I will.
Cause, I feel like my life is redundant with S* feelings all the time and hopelessness.
I am tired of it so I am sure everyone else is tired of it too.
I am sure I am on the bottom of many people's lists because it is like...damn, when is this girl gonna get it together and shut up.
I am going to shut up though...in fact, I am going to silence myself.
And, in order to do that I need to take a vacation from it all, play the game and go quietly into the night...

[Fuzzybear]

Hey, I don't think anyone thinks you should shut up!

If anything, I am the one who should shut up

I am sure the rest of the gang will be along soon to confirm my opinion!

Please take care,
Fuzzy

[Fuzzybear]

PS There are some judgemental people around but who needs them eh?

Just try not to judge yourself so harshly.

Slimy Black Bear

[Shaymus]

I hope you dont shut up. Im sure others here relate to having those feelings and can understand how frustrating and overwhelming they can be when they seem constant. In fact it can be helpful to others as they can read the replies and use the advice to their own lives. I know i do that and i cant be the only one.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((( Shay ))))))))