I'm bipolar usually never hit the low or if do I come out of it quick.

This is lasting months and months...

Can't find medication that works.

Yes, environment and situations aide it highly.

So tired of feeling this way.

This was the fourth day I actually got dressed - made myself walk the dogs.
To get out of the house.

I stayed down and depressed so long I put the weight back on I'd worked so hard getting off.

I use to be bulimic and long ago anorexic

I did 25 Ab lounge sit ups, walked dogs 35 minutes, gazelle 5 minutes.

I used to do 100 Abs, 30 minutes on gazelle.

I'm sure all can relate that once we stop our routine it's hard to get back on!

Plus many many changes going on in my life right now!

I still like myself.

But I'm not happy with IT rite now.

I am so down. So very very very down.

[Rohag]

Starlite, I know you understand you are so much more than your accomplishments or apparent lack thereof. Unfortunately, such "understandings" rarely bring relief (at least, that's the case with me).

If you have the strength, please hug your "babies" for me

[SophiaG]

((((((((((((((((((((((Starlite)))))))))))))))))))))))

[lynn P.]

(((Starlite)))) - for some reason I'm short on words...rare I know lol. I'll keep you in my prayers and send you good vibes with some fairy dust(since you're fond of fairies).

[sundog]

I'm really sorry you're so down right now But well done for starting to get back into your exercise routine! I know how hard it is to find the motivation to do anything positive when we're very depressed. I really think one of the hardest parts is taking that first step to get back on track. And you've done that. Which is great!!! I really hope you feel better soon.

Thanx guys, every little bit of caring helps.
Also I know that we are in this together.
As we know how difficult it can sometimes be.

[Naturefreak]

Do you feel a companion might help
That's what I think my problem is .... not quite sure.
Have a nice orange chocolate ball and watch the stars .

[blueoctober]

starlite*111;I hope you start feeling better soon!

[Merlin]

my support (((starlite)))

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((((( Starlite )))))))))))))))))

[lynn09]

(((((starlite))))) Don't forget that you were terribly ill with that systemic staph infection and on massive doses of antibiotics for over a month - running major fevers and no consistent appetite or restful sleep - PLUS weathering major, major changes in your life. When you are that ill and inactive, your muscles are going to atrophy to some extent - even your heart muscles; so, you can count on it taking 2-3 times the length of your illness for your body to fully recover from it - lots of damage that your body must repair - growing new cells to replace the damaged ones.

PLUS, during that prolonged illness, you were under considerable emotional stress due to changes you have made in yourself and a number of your real-life personal relationships, some of which are making you feel uncomfortable and unsafe - vulnerable. That stress had a negative impact on your immune system which not only served to prolong your illness, but to prolong your recovery, as well, since you are still in the process of adjusting to those changes. Give yourself some credit, Girl - all things considered, you've weathered things very well.

Try to think of the extra weight you are now carrying as extra reserves that your body needs to heal itself. Approach your exercise slowly - spread it out over the day - do fewer repetitions every few hours rather than trying to do everything in one set; instead of trying to do 100 abs at once, do 20 several times during the day - instead of 30 minutes on the Gazelle, do 5-10 minutes several times during the day. Gradually, your body will burn the fat as more lean muscle is developed - lean muscle burns more calories than fat, and your metabolism and stamina will gradually increase. When you first started exercising, you didn't start out doing 100 abs and 30 minutes on the Gazelle - it took time for you to build up to that level - you did it before, and you will do it again.

I know that it is hard to be patient with yourself especially battling body-image issues, but your body is just a biological machine - it is not YOU - and cells cannot just be replaced - they must grow, so create the best biological environment possible to facilitate that healing process. Eat a nutritious, balanced diet, and try to get consistent sleep. Pushing yourself too hard emotionally or physically at this point will only serve to slow your progress - so, be gentle with your body and be nice to you. Your Friend lynn09