Someone said SMILE!
Like hey I'd be smiling if I could.
I mean it's not like I don't want to smile.
Here let me put on one just for you. - NOT!!!

The worst thing is to be told to smile. Which makes it all the more difficult, because it's the one thing we probally want most to be able to JUST DO!

So PooH!

No more masks here

[Aunt Donna]

It is very difficult to smile when you don't feel like it. I wish I could smile that easily.

[sunsetsunrise]

yes starlite, I agree. People who tell anyone to smile, do not realize how difficult it is for them to put on that smiling mask. Someone several years ago at the post office told me to smile. So I started training myself to put on the mask when I am out. But sometimes I just decide I do not want to. Like today. Lately I have been wearing sunglasses when I am out in public so people will not see my sad eyes. But, how loneley it is to hide the true feelings. And how sad it is that people are expected to be happy and cheery.

I always said that my mother really wanted a bottle of champagne as a daughter. She wanted me to be bubbly and effervescent. Actually as soon as I turned 16 she had my nose fixed because she heard it changed the kid's personality to have their nose fixed. Problem is that my nose bothered only her. And her personality did not change when she had my nose fixed, lol. Oh yes, a week before I had it fixed, I went to visit a friend in the hospital who had just had hers fixed. I met her mom for the first time. She noticed my nose and asked me if I had it fixed because it was so nice. There wasnt anything wrong with it. My mother just wanted me to be outgoing and happy and bubbly. Boy was she barking up the wrong... nostril. My personality did not change post surgery. I still was insecure and in pain. So yes, I sure do know about that smile thing.

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by sunsetsunrise

Boy was she barking up the wrong... nostril.

LOL! If it were only that simple.

Starlite, you are one of the people who needs no smile to bring happiness.

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((( Starlite ))))))))))))))))

love
furry paws

[Miracle1986]

I always have people telling me, "fake a smile... and after a while, you won't have to fake it anymore."

Easier said done freakin' done!!!!!

[eskielover]

when we are happy, our smile reflects what it inside of us......when we don't feel happy, there is no way of faking a smile.

It's no one's business whether you smile or not.....you will smile when you are feeling like it & until then.....they need to just accept you "as is' which is really the best anyway.

No masks are necessary for real friends in the first place.

[thine_self_untrue]

I hate being told to smile.

[lynn P.]

My point of view isn't from a mental health stand point, but when I was a teenager random men(like at a store) would say "why don't you smile"? It used to irritate me because I know they just wanted attention from me and that bothered them. People who say this, are narrow minded and self centered - they can't handle reality.

[Miracle1986]

Originally Posted by lynn P.

but when I was a teenager random men(like at a store) would say "why don't you smile"?

OMG! I thought I was the only one that that happened to.

[lonely and scared]

i too hate the fact when people tell me to smile because it just makes things a bit odd really as they tell you to do it so you do it. but the thing is that its not real and i only put it there to please the person.

[Kiffygirl0793]

Grr...I hate it when people do that!

[(JD)]

WB btw.

Yes, deep depression does seem to prevent being able to smile. But sadness is on the inside, and no one around me is responsible for that, so when I can, I do put on a smile. There are things that don't require a frown. And if a smile, even one that doesn't tell my whole story, will help someone else feel better? I'm doing it.

Feel better soon.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Miracle1986

OMG! I thought I was the only one that that happened to.

I was always hearing that from random men too

I hate being told to smile when I don't bloody well feel like it.

In childhood the variation I heard most often was, "Wipe that frown off your face right now!" Which means, "You are not allowed to show any emotion that might indicate I'm less than a perfect parent."

Originally Posted by LovebirdsFlying

I hate being told to smile when I don't bloody well feel like it.

In childhood the variation I heard most often was, "Wipe that frown off your face right now!" Which means, "You are not allowed to show any emotion that might indicate I'm less than a perfect parent."

As you spoke of your childhood - I can relate.
Though, I always frowned - I was told "I'll give you something to smile about", then a slap across the face followed!

But I'm here and I'm okay though it's taken lots of work - I'm here to stay.
AND Smile if I want to, lol

[Lilleth]

I hate being told smile it may never happen. I know I look sad but its hard to smile when you are depressed. The last time someone walked up to me and told me to smile I broke into tears they didn't know what to do and was so embarrassed. I was really down once and a child was crying on the bus I was on so I to took out some chewing gum I had in my bag and asked the mother if it was ok to give her a piece to chew. (its was going to be a long bus journey) the mother said yes so I offered the gum to the child and smiled at her and gave the pack to the mother. I heard the person behind me say in their language. "It the first time I see that woman smile she does look so miserable all the time. Its a pity she dont smile more often." I didn't turn round and say anything as they didnt realise that I could understand the language. I have a friend who used to walk around smiling all the time even though she was a angry as hell inside. I never understood why she did that because the smile never seemed real. If only we could just smile and it would become real and feel the smile inside. As to my friend she walks around now with a face like thunder most of the time and says whatever she thinks or feels without caring about the other persons feelings but she is still not happy but she says she does not care. I remember when I could smile but now all i seem to feel is sadness.

[PitchBlack]

I've heard the "Fake it 'til you make it" I swear it makes me furious. Yeah, if I felt like smiling, I would. It's like they are uncomfortable with your emotions so they're saying, in a matter of speaking, "Just don't show me when you're sad/upset/depressed, because I don't want to see that." As if they only care about you when you're happy and they don't have to invest energy or time in you if you smile.

Originally Posted by Lilleth

I hate being told smile it may never happen. I know I look sad but its hard to smile when you are depressed. The last time someone walked up to me and told me to smile I broke into tears they didn't know what to do and was so embarrassed. I was really down once and a child was crying on the bus I was on so I to took out some chewing gum I had in my bag and asked the mother if it was ok to give her a piece to chew. (its was going to be a long bus journey) the mother said yes so I offered the gum to the child and smiled at her and gave the pack to the mother. I heard the person behind me say in their language. "It the first time I see that woman smile she does look so miserable all the time. Its a pity she dont smile more often." I didn't turn round and say anything as they didnt realise that I could understand the language. I have a friend who used to walk around smiling all the time even though she was a angry as hell inside. I never understood why she did that because the smile never seemed real. If only we could just smile and it would become real and feel the smile inside. As to my friend she walks around now with a face like thunder most of the time and says whatever she thinks or feels without caring about the other persons feelings but she is still not happy but she says she does not care. I remember when I could smile but now all i seem to feel is sadness.

Thank you so much for sharing this - truly

Originally Posted by PitchBlack

I've heard the "Fake it 'til you make it" I swear it makes me furious. Yeah, if I felt like smiling, I would. It's like they are uncomfortable with your emotions so they're saying, in a matter of speaking, "Just don't show me when you're sad/upset/depressed, because I don't want to see that." As if they only care about you when you're happy and they don't have to invest energy or time in you if you smile.

I'm glad we shared about this smile thing...
I've wise-cracked a few times when told to...

Oh, have you guys heard this one "Oh, it can't be that bad"

Thanx for sharing Pitch

I just walked my (3) dogs, individually. Pass a police sub station along the route. Three police men standing around talking. Not one said "Hi"

So as I contradict myself, I said "What, not one of you are going to say HI"

oh, oh, I didn't see you..........

Oh and for the times we wished they didn't see us,....

see me now, see me now... I'm in a funk mood

[Lollapalooza]

My goodness I HATE IT when people tell me to "smile" or ask "what's wrong"? Or make some other stupid comment...for instance, I was at the airport a few days ago picking up my grandparents who are visiting me from New York. One of the security people who was checking my I.D. looked at me and said, "You don't look as happy as you do in this picture."

Uggh it's so annoying. The thing is, I'm not even "DEPRESSED" most of the time. I'm just always in deep thought. 99% of the time when people assume something is wrong with me or that I am SAD or ANGRY, I'm not at all! I'm just thinking about something that doesn't concern them...and for some reason they just can't stand it and are annoyed by it, so they have to approach me to tell me to "smile" and/or ask me "what's wrong"?

I have a feeling that if I were a 6'4, 250lb male, that no one would tell me to just "smile". Honestly I think the way that I look has something to do with COMPLETE STRANGERS telling me that I HAVE TO SMILE. I am a petite, fairly attractive young woman, so I have NOTHING to NOT SMILE about, right? If I was a man or just older/taller/bigger in ANY kind of way, complete STRANGERS would not be telling me that I should SMILE. I am 20 years old, and apparently people who are older than me feel that they have the right to tell me what my facial expressions and/or emotions should be at any given time.

I look much younger than I really am. Well guess what people, I am an ADULT and I will NOT SMILE whenever I FEEL LIKE IT. Thank you!

Seriously though, I just have a very blank expression on my face like 95% of the time. No matter what emotion I'm actually feeling inside. I could be very content and happy, and yet my facial expression is blank, or serious. I can't help that. So to all of the "smile" rainbow bunnies, please goof off thanks.

My friend told me "it takes more muscules to frown than smile" - So I'm doing great exercising!!!

[Rohag]

This may sound off-topic, but bear with me...

A Russian Joke

A family from outside Moscow visit their friends in the city. After walking around for a bit, the non-Muscovites comment, "We didn't realize there were so many prostitutes in Moscow." Their Muscovite friends reply, "Those aren't prostitutes; they're American tourists."

OK, the Russians are laughing and the Americans are scratching their heads in confusion.

In traditional Russian culture, smiling is a far less public expression usually reserved for close friends and intimate moments. One of their stereotypes of Americans is that they smile all the time for no good reason. So, who smiles in Moscow? Prostitutes and American tourists. Ha. Ha. Ha. Rather, "Xa-xa-xa."

"Americans and their gratuitous smiling! Bah!"

[Naturefreak]

I can't