[akekaomen]

I have had a very difficult time finally getting into treatment with a new facility for my psychiatrist. A brief outline:

Early in the calendar year, I inquired with several facilities near where I work for a psychiatrist because I moved from the north part of one state to another state in the south. I stayed at the same job, so I wanted to find something near work because I had a hard time finding something near where I live because my insurance only covers the state where i work not where I live.

I was told I needed to be established in their system with a PCP, so I made the first available appointment (August), but needed refills for my meds before the end of April. I drove 2 hours each way for a 15 minute appointment with my old doctor to get refills that would last through end of August.

After seeing my PCP, I called the psychiatry group and was told I needed to be pre-screened by their director before seeking treatment. After 2-3 days of phone tag, I was determined to qualify for treatment, but needed my old psychiatrist to call the new group. My old psychiatrist was on vacation, but I left a message. I followed up after a week or so to find out he didn't call and that the new group could do nothing without this 2 minute call from my old doctor to verify I was in treatment. I called my old doctor again and called the new group for options. After I requested they make an accommodation as this process has already taken more time than I could accommodate with my current medication, I was told I could schedule an appointment, but that appointments were being booked 4-6 weeks out.

I called the person who does the scheduling only to find out she was not in the office and had to wait an extra 2 days to schedule my appointment. Fortunately after I talked with her, she was able to get me in for today. Unfortunately because of all of this and the uncertainty of how to get my primary anti-depressant to last, i ran out last week at the end of the week.

I had a horrible altercation with my father on Sunday after I ran out of medication, which exacerbated my decline. I had to stand up to him for emotionally abusing my 10 year old and the 36 years of emotional abuse I lived through took over and I actually shoved him (a 67 year old man which I am not proud of) It all happened at a large fair and I yelled and swore in front of my 10 year old and 3 year old. I removed myself from the situation by leaving my kids with my mother, who was the only other responsible adult there and sat outside the car waiting to get a ride back (we took one car and I didn't even have keys to get in to wait, so i sat on the ground).

My work is stressful and my ability to compensate is non-existent. The internal "customers" I deal with are emotionally abusive and are causing me extreme anxiety and anger in the same way my father causes me anger. I am afraid I could hurt someone emotionally or physically and also just poorly represent myself and my department if I go into work like this. I therefore called out yesterday even though I was to attend a very important meeting. I am calling out sick today and will see my doctor. I am suffering from paranoia and fear that because I am out for a mental health illness it will be a negative part of my review and/or be treated as a problem. If I broke my leg i wouldn't be worried, but I do not know if there are protections for those who are medically mentally ill. I have emailed my calling out sick documenting that it is a result of a gap in medical treatment. I am concerned that it will take some time for the medication to hit my system again and with personal complications going to work may become toxic for a little while.

I am not ashamed of the depression that incapacitates me since it is not my fault, but rather a fault of my genes & DNA that need treatment. Once I am back to a level that is functional, I can take responsibility for my treatment, but right now, I am just afraid I will be punished for something that is medical that would cause the same loss in work as if I had ruptured my appendix.

Is this paranoia or at least are there resources I can draw upon to alleviate my paranoia a little. Are there any resources that I can use to help alleviate my fear that this episode will be used against me as a "character weakness".

[Rohag]

Hi, Akekaomen! I'm going to refer you to forum member TheByzantine. In the meantime, here are some USA-skewed Web resources:

US Family Medical & Leave Act
Home Page at the U.S. Department of Labor, Wage and Hour Division (WHD)

Discrimination
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)
ADS Center (Resource Center to Address Discrimination and Stigma established by the US federal Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration - SAMHSA)

Depression & the Workplace
PC article: Workplace Depression
PC article: Mental Health & Work
PC article: Mental Illness in the Workplace: Talking to Your Employer
PC article: Mental Illness in the Workplace: Rights and Responsibilities
Mental Health America Factsheet: Depression in the Workplace
What Is an At-Will Employee?
The Americans With Disabilties Act and You

[Gus1234U]

Ake~ you have endured more than could be expected of any person without your "brain chemistry disorders"~~! my word, those kinds of stress levels are dangerous to your health! one cannot find it in oneself to blame you for pushing that "old man" ,, years of restraint finally gave way. sorry the kids had to see it, on the one hand, and glad they saw you so definately and finally disapprove of his abuse~!! one sends all light and energy,, hoping for the best,, Gus

[Vossie42]

Wow, you've been dragged through hell by this!

Can your PCP prescribe your meds for awhile until you get refills from the new psychiatrist? Or perhaps you can get some free samples from your PCP or psychiatrist. I've had to do both when my insurance company was being a butthead about covering my meds and then when my old psychiatrist stopped taking my insurance and I couldn't afford to pay his rates.