[sleepless0x]

I'm sick of roaming the halls of my school alone. It's cause I'm too depressed or angry to talk to anyone. I just want to be happy, I'm sick of feeling so alone, and just hating everyone.. I'm sick of looking in the mirror and seeing some freak. How am I supposed to get on with my life and put aside my feelings so I can get school over with? Everyone's telling me to think positive, I've tried all the advice, I just can't do it. I want to make life beautiful, but I don't know how..

[Purplechick]

Have you seen a doc hun?

[madisgram]

"I want to make life beautiful, but I don't know how.. "

u're part of what makes life beaufiful even if you don't feel that way about yourself...and you are not a freak to me. i once felt about myself that way so i do understand what you are saying. i'm sorry you are feeling so alone and sad. u mentioned school..could u go speak with a guidance counselor? it helps to speak with someone irl if you feel that you can. sometimes it's hard to "think positive" especially when we feel so down isolated. or is their a trusted friend you can talk this over with?
can you tell us why you are so hard on yourself? idk, but maybe that would help us to help you.

[sleepless0x]

@Purplechick -Not recently. I just don't want to get back on medication, I hated how it made me feel, and I guess I just told myself I could find better ways of dealing with this stuff, but I'm having difficulty finding it. At first it seemed finding something I'm passionate about would help me, but it's hard to do what I'm passionate about because I have to worry about school because I'm incredibly behind..

@madisgram - I've always been hard on myself. I just never feel like I'm good enough. I never thought I'd be good enough for parents because they put such high expectations on me because of how my sister used to be. I guess that might be part of it. My family is very high maintenance, they're the kind of people that look down on people for not looking perfect or being perfect. Now I just look at myself and see this person who will never be good enough.
I have a couple trusted friends, but most of them are far away now, I only talk to them every once in awhile. It sucks. I have a few in the city, but even than, I still have a bit of paranoia whether or not I should trust them. Even when I talk to my friends, they tell me what I want to hear, but even after that I don't see what's so great. I don't know, I have those days where I look in the mirror and feel fantastic, but it doesn't happen often.

[Pikku Myy]

Hugs little friend!!!!! Keep writing and you will receive some piece

[phoenix7]

what are you passionate about? you said there was somthign - can you schedule some time every day to do it? that might help...let us know ok.

[sleepless0x]

Music is basically the only thing I'm passionate about. I could spend all my time listening or writing music. I used to have pretty much 3 school binders full of songs I wrote, and I know I have a lot of **** to deal with that can turn into music. I'll try fitting it into my schedule, but it's going to be difficult because as soon as I get home, I either have homework to do, or pass out in my bed. I'm just so exhausted and stressed about everything.

Hey sleepless, I'm sorry about school!
Not sure if this would help, but don't think. Example: Ignore that you roam alone in the halls. Take it as an opportunity to venture the school. (Honestly, school is so different
when people aren't around.)
Also, keep your head up, and I mean this semi-literally. Looking down doesn't only brings one down, in my opinion.

Since you're behind in school, maybe stay after class to talk to a teacher about some assignment or something you have a question on. Just the one on one attention would make me feel appreciated, and start to build up my spirits.. (imo, of course.)

It's not about having a good day, then a bad one. You can consistently have bettering days by building happiness slowly.

Also, it wouldn't hurt to take a day off to sleep, not worry about school, and so on...

Anywho, I hope you smile tomorrow because, well, I'd really like you to have a super awesome day tomorrow.

[sleepless0x]

Thank you, I'll try that out. The problem is I can't take a day off, because my school runs on a point system, so I have to earn enough points so I can take a day off.
C: