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#1
Sep 15, 2005, 09:11 PM
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Well, my sister is gonna be having a baby. I'm the only kid left in the whole family that isn't having a baby or already has kids. At first I was happy to be an aunt, but I'm quickly plummeting. I feel so alone and just unimportant.
Everybody else has a purpose in life, but not me. No I'm not suicidal or anything like that. I'm just depressed that I have nothing to offer to the world. Ok, I know I have my love to offer, but I want to offer more than that. I am such a disappointment. You'd think that I'd be the next one in line to be pregnant since I'm the middle child but it doesn't work that way. I want a child someday. Maybe not right now, but I do want a child. God, this is depressing me. It's just that I want someone to look up to me and see that I love them unconditionally. I feel very sad that it's not me that the good things happen to.
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"When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it." -Bernard Bailey |
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#2
Sep 15, 2005, 09:56 PM
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((((((((((lexicon)))))))))))
having someone to look up to you and know that you love them unconditionally could be the new little niece or nephew you're gonna have, plus the ones you already have. the best thing about having a child...is knowing you're having it when you can be everything that you can to a child. i would've waited with mine had i know then what i know now. i should've waited until i was older and more healthy. do i regret having them when i did? NO! even though i was a good mama, i would've been a great one several years later  be safe, kd
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#3
Sep 16, 2005, 10:15 AM
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I know what you mean. I'm an aunt myself, and I don't even have a bf. People keep on asking my family or myself when I'm gonna get married. Practically all my friends are married (the ones that aren't live far away).
What helps me is that it's better to be single than to get married for the sake of being married, or even having a child. The situation sux, but you're not 'alone'. Hey, you'll be apart of the child's life, and he or she will look up to you. You will be very important to that child. Hang in there. Hugs. |
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#4
Sep 16, 2005, 04:33 PM
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(((lexi)))) You can still be the best Aunt that child will have! It's tough when we can't find enough of ourselves that we "need" to rely upon the opinions of others in our life to find .. what we aren't and "should be?" We have worth just because... I'm sorry your high also caused your crash. TC
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