[Shadow Wraith]

First of all, I don't think there is such a thing as "normal". It's just a word for people who fall into society's often narrow conception of how we should just blindly conform to social norms. I find a few things I've learned in my years of studying experimental psych. Some studies have shown that people who are experiencing depression are seeing "reality" more so than those who are optimistic. Depression during our evolutionary history was adaptive at one point or we wouldn't be alive today. Depression has also been found to be actually helpful in some professions, e.g. professors, artists, etc. If society's perception was turned on it's head, maybe we could even say that people who aren't struggling with depression are to some extent "delusional". It's just an interesting and different way to look at something that is often just seen negatively. Of course, those people who are on the spectrum of being extremely pessamistic and/or depressed are seeing things in a distorted way. I have struggled with depression for years. I've found that reframing things and accepting how my life is now, good and bad, has helped me the most.

[Leed]

Well, we HAVE to accept it or jump off a cliff. We don't really have much of a choice now, do we?!!! LOL Hugs, Lee

[LittleForgetMeNot]

I know that my depression has given me a more realistic view on people, relationships, and life than those I knew or know. My ex likes to believe that the one he is with is "the one" and they're gonna be together forever. My current friend thinks that forgiving everyone and being super crazy positive is the way to live. Yes he is uplifting sometimes, but he doesn't take enough things seriously.. He thinks if you say something that is slightly negative, like you cannot forgive someone, or someone won't change, that you're closing the doors to posibility. I think that no, these people are who they are and no matter of forgiveness or logical reasoning will change their personality and you have to accept it (epecially since I've tried forgivning and logical reasoning for 100 billiion years with them). Even though accepting and living can be hard..

[Umbral_Seraph]

Overall people who suffer from depression have the most accurate view of the world.
Normal is not really something that can be defined; really it's abnormal that's defined and normal is the abscence of anything abnormal; abnormal is just the things that interfere with our lives, things we know shouldn't be there....

[venusss]

First of all, I don't think there is such a thing as "normal". It's just a word for people who fall into society's often narrow conception of how we should just blindly conform to social norms.

I think that the western society, although we like to brag about our freedoms etc., is quite intolerant. The definition of normal seems very narrow indeed. Somehow "having personality" and "being yourself" requires smiling and being loud. I read few articles claiming that shyness leads to depression...

Some studies have shown that people who are experiencing depression are seeing "reality" more so than those who are optimistic.

Pesimist is a well informed optimist.

Depression during our evolutionary history was adaptive at one point or we wouldn't be alive today.

As long as you are able to channel the emotions into something and don't dwel on it and don't spend your time with pity parties, it IS useful.

If society's perception was turned on it's head, maybe we could even say that people who aren't struggling with depression are to some extent "delusional".

I believe so too. If you never felt really really down about something... you are either to ignorant to grasp the reality. Or you are a psychopath. People who smile and are happy all the time and aren't able to aknownoledge there is suffering in the world scare me.

Well, we HAVE to accept it or jump off a cliff. We don't really have much of a choice now, do we?!!! LOL Hugs, Lee

We do have a choice. I read once somewhere that reason why people are into political activism is often to escape their own misery. So find your thing... you can get into Future Studies, there is plenty of space for doom and gloom... Or write a wonderfully dark book.

Despite everything, we DO have a choice. And it doesn't need to be desperatelly trying fit in the society and seeking the holy grail of "normal".

[darkpurplesecrets]

((((Shadow Wraith))))

Thank you for posting. I am not sure what normal is but I do know that some people that claim to be normal are not those that I would want to be like. Those that are able to admit that sometimes they are depressed or not feeling "normal" to me are facing the things that come upon us in life. All people at one time or another are depressed and unhappy.

When I get depressed it is telling me that I need to stop and take a look at what is going on within myself. This is not always easy to look at or say for many times I would rather hide away from it. But I also know that it is during those times that I look at what is going on I grow. That there is something I need to learn, face, let go of, and listen to.

I feel that facing depression helps us be more in tune with others around us. We can feel and reach to others who are having a hard time. Those that tell me that they are normal and have no problems I am not sure that I would trust them to turn to in a time of need. Those that face things in life have empathy and understanding to others.

I think being positive is important but being honest with yourself is more important. Each time we can go through something it is a chance to grow and change. I think being able to admit that something is wrong is much healthier than pretending like nothing is wrong. Life is full of ups and downs and we all go through many things at one time or another that has an affect on us.

Thank you for this thread. I think I would rather be feeling than not for that means I am living and growing. I am not sure if this makes any sense but I do understand. Sending you gentle hugs and loving thoughts. Always.

dps

[Shadow Wraith]

Reality is something that is very hard to accept for most people. Therefore, for many people, being overly optimistic is just a form of denial and a defense mechanism. I do often envy individuals who can just shut out how the world really is. However, I really wonder if people who are optimistic have the ability to really empathize as well as those who are pessimistic. If I were to do a study on it, my hypothesis would be no. I've experience being very optimistic and it was harder for me to even understand and empathize with the depressed me. Now when someone is depressed to the point of being suicidal, especially when there isn't any particular apparent external personal cause for depression, I don't believe it is the depression that is the cause of the utter darkness of their world...at least not entirely. It is probably a result of the psychological damage caused by other people want to label or judge them because they don't fit into society's version of "normal". Some people do not want to be around a pessimist because it is really hard to see the world the way it is.

Imagine a world without any depression. People who suffer from reality are often more gifted with the ability to think in a nuanced and deeper way. They typically also are more creative and possess a greater ability to express themselves. I wouldn't want to live in a world in which everybody simply were a bunch of "optimistic ostriches" who simply put their heads in the sand to the suffering and injustices of the world. Would the world have had people who politically take a stand like Gandhi, Martin Luther King, JFK, and Abraham Lincoln? Would we have the fantastic movies, musicians, artists, philosophers, etc etc if people didn't possess the ability to see how things are in a more accurate way?

On a personal level, if one has never experienced deep sadness in their lives, how can they really know what it is like to feel joy? People tend to be fear based creatures. Seeing things more accurately tends to make people more fearful. That is probably why people who are "depressed" also tend to have so-called anxiety disorders. More accurate perceptions often leads to more fear. Therefore those who can't handle reality have the ability to deny reality (optimism) or they even go further and hate those who are different out of fear of them (or scapegoating).

If society was as accepting of the realist/pessimist as the optimist, then people who are depressed wouldn't feel as hopeless and helpless. It's just when one has the ability to be realistic/pessimistic and then people discriminate against you, I believe that is when most people feel helpless and hopeless. Being in a dark place emotionally doesn't mean one is always devoid of hope. It can serve as a motivator to either become more expressive and/or try to change the world as much as they can. It's easier for someone who has the inability to feel pain to accept the status quo. They tend to see things as black and white. People who are depressed are often quite intelligent. Some people just lose all hope whenever the pain becomes so deep from a society that has tunnel vision and are judgmental of those who aren't "normal".

In case you all don't already know by this post, I have a problem being concise. I tend to be very "wordy". I also tend to be rather cerebral. I guess that's just a symptom of my "depression". I'm slow as it is so quoting everybody is challenging and very time consuming for me. My apologies to not quoting many of the well thought out replies to my original post.

[Shadow Wraith]

Did anybody find my previous postings to be inappropriate and/or not belonging on a support forum? Did anybody get the impression that is was trying to say their suffering was not real? Did I sound completely dismissive of depression being a helpful concept to some? If so, you have my sincere apologies. That is certainly not what I intended. I am suffering from depression as well. I have been told that what I have written could be misconstrued as being unsupportive and dismissive.