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#1
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Any really depressed person hates all holidays, You live in your own world an organised happiness dont enter your existance. you could be on a beach in the most unspoilt paradice, an it may as well be the towns rubbish tip.In my hole life i have never boarded a plane to go on holiday, i have no phobia about air traval , but lock me in a plane an i would flip.Anxierty would take over weeks before a trip an turn to full explosion on the day. I would nuke the plane to get off. T his is real fight an flight . not the crap CTB therapy stuff. You would then spend 2 week,s in a mind numbing trance while every one round you does the crazy holiday thing they do. .Its like a bipolar patient haveing a manic faze but hundreds of them at once. No in not miserable just ill, an want a nice level base. . Im lucky i live in england where the countyside is unrivaled , well mabye by pandora??? patchwork fields , woodland, an flowers in meadows its all true, now christmas i carnt drink much alchol because of the meds , i have dont in the past but i dont recommend it. Its cool with all my grandkids , that my latest LEXI with me on my avatar ,giveing skin to skin therapy when i was on a downer.Other than that nuke it an let me live in my straight line i hate change as it upsets the loop, BAH HUMBUG
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#2
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(((((((sewerrats))))))))
You're right, the holidays are a really tough time. It's hard to pretend you're happy when you're not feeling it, and the holidays just add the pressure to do so. My biggest problem with the holidays are all the people around. I have a huge family and it's impossible to get two minutes to myself. In order to combat that, I like to try to find something to do over the holidays for MYSELF. Personally, I try to go for a long drive into the country with the radio blaring, or I'll stay up late after the rest of the house has gone to sleep, sit by the fire and just enjoy the quiet. Anything for a few moments of peace. The holidays are as much about relaxing and taking care of ourselves as they are about celebrating. Take good care of yourself and you'll find it that much easier to get through. And if all else fails, remember it'll all be over in a matter of weeks. ![]()
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Rebecca "If you're going through hell -- keep going." - Winston Churchill It's better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else's life with perfection. - Elizabeth Gilbert Bring on the wonder, we got it all wrong, we pushed you down deep in our souls, so hang on. Bring on the wonder, bring on the song, I pushed you down deep in my soul for too long. - Susan Enan http://igetupagain.wordpress.com/ |
#3
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I get stressed at Xmas but its just thinking about it and I do the cooking. Its the only time we get together as a family and to be honest I dread the day when they all go off and be with their respictive spouses family. This year I thought my eldest son was going to say that he was spending xmas with his fiancees family as last year he spent it with me. But they say they are with me this year. I am hoping that my middle son comes home as well but he didnt last year. I have only the three of them plus two grandsons one usually spends xmas day with us but the other one rarely as he spends it with his mothers family which is only right and I see him on Boxing day. I have to say I dread when the day comes that they are away for the xmas. But its inevitable as they have their own lives.
I live in the UK too and reading you describe the countyside reminded me of how much I love seeing Britain from the air. I love when you look out from the plane window before dawn and looking down at all the light it looks like a design of the 20/30s beading it so beautiful. And then when the day light comes and the plane circles waiting to land the land itself looks like all different colours of chanile velvet all the autumn colours its all so beautiful. |
#4
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Your right about doing your own thing now an then , so long as you dont look antisocial. Lots of simple things a depressive does would deem weird to the normals as i call them. But back to the holiday theme, i remember traveling by car to a place in england , It was about 300 miles an i drove the car so it was cool. There was only me an the wife , an the apartment was in a cliff face looking out to sea with a balcony to watch the waves crash in. The first day was fine , the next day we were in a bar an a feeling i know well overwelmed me.All i had for the week was 6mg of ativan , an i new i would need 2mg to be able to drive home.i had to spend a week in terror of breaking down. I had to self med with alchol in short bursts to releave a pressure biuld up. Now there was no trigger to this relaspse other than being away from my safe place ie home. But i stuck it out , it didnt get better but it was as much for the wife than me. i made it home just . What happened then is a blur.
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#5
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#6
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I used to look forward to Xmas, not so much anymore. It sounds terrible to say, but the best Xmas I ever had was 2 years ago when my grandfather was in the hospital and my relatives went to visit him, so I could just stay home all day and chill out. Too friggin stressful and who has the money anymore?
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