[Bunny2033]

So, my husband had an emotional affair. He said really nasty things to me and just in general hurt me.

Now I am dealing with the after effects. There are days that I just don't want to get out of bed.

I am ok now, but earlier I was sad and angry.

Sometimes I can't believe how depressed I feel. It makes me even more depressed to think that I am now depressed. It comes and goes. Today, I just thought about how much he lied to me (triggered by something he did today-nothing bad, just something that reminded me of a bad memory related to his affair/lies) I just felt sad and anxious. It is terrible. I cry some days, get angry. I feel like I have lost control of my emotions.

I look at him, and sometimes just think how he destroyed something very precious. It makes me very sad. I have been dealing with these feelings and sadness/depression for several months now.

[jilliebeanmn]

I've been there, and I know how much it hurts. I am sorry this happened to you. Warm virtual hugs being sent your way.

[Bunny2033]

Thank you,

I love virtual hugs.

-B

[Gently1]

(((Bunny2033)))

Sorry you are so sad. Time does heal.
I hope you are getting help, I did not for the longest time and am now 2 years+ with major depression.

G1

[sundog]

Hi Bunny. Welcome! I'm so sorry you are hurting. Are you seeing a therapist to work through some of this? I hope we can offer you lots of support. Here are some more virtual hugs for you!!!

[Bunny2033]

No I am not seeing any therapist.

Initially, my "husband" didn't want me too. He still doesn't . But I am the only one who suffers. He lives his cocky little existence thinking he has done nothing wrong :

To clarify:

we decided to help a girl who according to him needed help. Soon, he did not want me to help. I was not allowed to see emails, or communications. He bought secretphones. And just started acting like he was having an affair. Then her mother, naturally wanted to know who was "helping" her daughter". But it turned that she just tried to seduce my husband. Maybe they had sex, I don't know. He lied about their interaction too. He was very mean to me. He broke my heart. And I don't believe he is really sorry.

So, I am not currently seeing a therapist. I need to because I can't deal with the emotions I feel and what seems to be depression. I feel broken. And I am not happy any more- at least not in the same way.

Today, I called him on his emergency phone. All he said to me, " why am I calling him on his emergency phone.Is it an emergency"?Then he comes home complains and leaves to go back to work.

It is just not fair. All I did was love someone and want my wishes respected. Now I am the one who hurts and has to use so much energy and effort just to get out of bed and go to work EVERY day. I wake up sad every morning.

I am so lonely. I have been at work all day. I came home and I am by myself all night with no one to be with or even say anything nice to me.

-B

[Bunny2033]

I am ok now people. I was having a moment-it happens sometimes with me.