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Old Nov 28, 2010, 04:28 PM
LabLover23
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I actually posted this yesterday on my lunch break on Craigslist, thought hopefully to redeem myself in case people recognized it as being me . . . :

Actually, I'm crying now, but in a few minutes I have to leave and go back to work. I forgot to take my anti-depressant and my orthotrycylin yesterday, I made the mistake of double dosing today. I was totally out of it, having trouble following a conversation, and feeling totally depressed about my job on top of it. So I wqas trying to just go through the motions and accidentally said
'hello there' again to a lady at the store when I meant to say, "Ok then' and I looked like a complete retard or something I think a was weird with several customers today, not feeling quite my regular happy self today, that's for sure. .
my manager/bf asked if I was ok and that I looked intoxicated. I can't always be happily perfect in life. I just want to stick my head in sand like an ostrich,. I'm pretty sure I relate to them better than horses at this point. I'm feeling a bit better. I went to the bathroom a lot, I think I cleaned my system out, but I'm left tired and wish I could quit my job and never come back. But then I might be overreacting.

>>> ... Cut to today, I'm depressed. taking my pills here in a sec. hmmph.
I feel like dying, every day is the same, I cant wait till my days off, eff it, I'll start studying to nihgt and tomorrow, gotta find another job, this ones killing me.

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  #2  
Old Nov 28, 2010, 08:17 PM
Elana05's Avatar
Elana05 Elana05 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LabLover23 View Post
I actually posted this yesterday on my lunch break on Craigslist, thought hopefully to redeem myself in case people recognized it as being me . . . :

Actually, I'm crying now, but in a few minutes I have to leave and go back to work. I forgot to take my anti-depressant and my orthotrycylin yesterday, I made the mistake of double dosing today. I was totally out of it, having trouble following a conversation, and feeling totally depressed about my job on top of it. So I wqas trying to just go through the motions and accidentally said
'hello there' again to a lady at the store when I meant to say, "Ok then' and I looked like a complete retard or something I think a was weird with several customers today, not feeling quite my regular happy self today, that's for sure. .
my manager/bf asked if I was ok and that I looked intoxicated. I can't always be happily perfect in life. I just want to stick my head in sand like an ostrich,. I'm pretty sure I relate to them better than horses at this point. I'm feeling a bit better. I went to the bathroom a lot, I think I cleaned my system out, but I'm left tired and wish I could quit my job and never come back. But then I might be overreacting.

>>> ... Cut to today, I'm depressed. taking my pills here in a sec. hmmph.
I feel like dying, every day is the same, I cant wait till my days off, eff it, I'll start studying to nihgt and tomorrow, gotta find another job, this ones killing me.
(((LabLover)))
I've had days like this, I totally know what you mean... about feeling so out of it and saying things that don't seem to sound right. We all make mistakes with our meds. Please be gentle with yourself. We're all doing the best we can, you too! Work is so hard with depression. Just the fact that you are there shows immense strength. Just breathe deep and use what energy you have. It is a good idea to escape to the bathroom. I used to do that too. I'm not even working right now, so again I admire your strength. Keep breathing and try to focus on the things you love when you have time for yourself. Then, maybe slowly you can begin to move toward whatever you would rather be doing, or at least a job that isn't so icky.
Sending supportive thoughts your way...

E
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Thanks for this!
LabLover23
  #3  
Old Nov 29, 2010, 12:08 AM
magpie4224 magpie4224 is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2010
Posts: 7
Ah, the serenity prayer. Words to live by....
Thanks for this!
LabLover23
  #4  
Old Nov 30, 2010, 02:29 AM
LabLover23
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Thanks guys, I'm feeling a bit better. I'm a bit unsure about who the lady was, which makes things a bit weird, but I'm trying to remain positive and keep my self-estem up. For yes, I know everyone has bad days, I think also my reality was a bt skewed, my emotions were all over the place. After I wrote that and got a good cry out, I felt better. I stuff down my emotions too much. Thanks again
  #5  
Old Nov 30, 2010, 02:27 PM
TheByzantine
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((((( LabLover23 )))))
  #6  
Old Nov 30, 2010, 05:29 PM
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Rohag Rohag is offline
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Hi, LabLover23
Quote:
Originally Posted by LabLover23 View Post
...I think also my reality was a bt skewed...
Oh, yes. Skewed-reality days. I've had those. In my case I can usually attribute them to medicinal or sleep turmoil, or both.

Wishing you many good days...
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