[tracylee]

I am sure that you remember my previous threads about my manipulative, bullying 'partner'. Things came to a head the other night and i told him i want him out. Its really bizarre, we have been together almost a year and he knew about my depression. In the past few weeks he has turned really nasty and calls me lazy and says that i am faking depression (??).

Anyway, he has said that he will leave when he is ready, but i need to know when. i tried speaking to my mum and dad and my dad said that i should just say sorry to the 'partner' and keep him here so he can pay the rent and bills.

I have had a problem with going out in general and dont even go to visit my parents. I managed to get to see them last night and this is the attitude i get from my father. He just doesnt understand this whole depression thing (neither do i for that matter!!) and then he tells me to keep a bullying, abusive partner around just because it is financially safer for me. I will eventually get benefits from the government, but this takes time.

Last night i honestly felt incredibly low and had a good cry and wondered why i am here, after all, i have more than one person telling me i am not very much good at anything, i have been trying really really hard, but now i just want to give up, push the erase and eject.....

i told my father that he just doesnt care about me and its true.

[wisewoman]

Tracelee, I am sorry your father responded as he did. It sounds like he just plain doesn't get it. I really hope you can find a way to get this partner out of your life. Advertize for a roomate. Heck, some of the boarding homes I have seen seem very appealing as the cost of living is so high. A boarding home is much more simple. Good luck

[dexter]

Hi tracy

I don't know much about your situation, but it is sad that your dad does not understand depression, unfortunately that happens to a lot of us, people are uneducated and in many cases resistant to learn about things that they were taugh was "just a weakness" before it was understood how real a condition this is and how it effects our lives.

I hope you can gain more understanding of depression and your depression as well... there will always be people who won't understand and people who won't try to understand... if you can understand it yourself it won't make their comments any less hurtful but at least you can focus on the fact that their comments aren't true.

Are you currently in treatment for depression? Can you talk to your doctor to understand more about it? There are also some good explanations on the web, and I wrote something about it a while ago that you can read at www.idexter.com/understanding/depression/understanding_depression.pdf
or find on my website at www.idexter.com

Finally want to say I am glad you are posting here, because the best part about this place is that we can understand firsthand the trouble, symptoms, and misery that depression can cause.

((((((((((Tracylee)))))))))))))
I think your Dad's afraid you'll be kicked out onto the street. Maybe he doesn't realize just how bullying and abusive this partner is. Making sure you're physically taken care of is probably his first main concern.
Don't expect your boyfriend to understand depression unless he's been through it himself. Only those who've been through it can really appreciate it.
I hope things get better for you.

[Emerald]

maybe this guy your with is depressed also? depressed people can't stand other depressed people, i know cause me and my one friend both have depression problems and we can barely be togeather for 5 minutes of talking and we start fighting,

alot of people might think anyone whos depressed is just faking it since there are so many depressed people nowadays, but all those people really are depressed, one big reason is lonelyness, most people in america are just lonely, either because they have no friends, or just no good friends,
and alot of people also get depressed(like you said) because they don't think they're good at anything, but they just havint found what they are good at, because most of everyone is to busy trying to have a good time and do something entertaining, that's why people are so lazy to do anything, because they believe everything is about having a good time,
of course i'm not saying any of that is whats going on with you, just saying it incase it might help you.