[kneedhelp]

Hello...
There isn't a comparable word to describe the sheer depression I'm feeling today. I'm talking about a condition that has taken over my mind, robbed me of my dignity, deprived me of the opportunity to fly to San Diego and enjoy all the joyful offerings that city has because of my fears of not wanting social contact. Being sad and hopeless has left me feeling totally abandoned by man and God. I can't feel anger, I can feel nothing, I'm numb. I sleep but am even more tired than before I went to bed. My condition has me neglecting my appetite as I do not want to eat because I feel I'm not worthy to eat. I'd rather drink coffee and smoke cigarettes to punish myself. I've always been pretty good at standing up for other people. I'm no good at standing up for myself. I just never have been, and after all the pain I've been through, I don't have any real desire to fight anymore. I won't even try. I won't go out on a limb for me. Everything that has occurred over the last three months feel as if it were occurring to somebody else. Foreign external noises startle me. The worst things that anyone else could ever say about me doesn't come close to being as bad as the worst things I tell myself. Everybody gets lost in life. I just keep getting lost and I have no map or direction. The world constantly keeps collapsing on me over and over again. It's just—oh, God. I can't go on I'm so weak. When things got bad in the past, I always had my business to lift my spirits, however,things are now very bad financially, my business revenues are off dramatically. Life has NOT been worth living because noone seems to care or will take the time to listen to my sorrows...it is heartbreaking to feel so hopeless/broken. Is there anyone who can help me pick up the pieces??? (I can't afford a therapist and looked all over for cost-free help without any luck)
Seeking a way out,
John

i went to the state/county health clinic and got an e xcellent Pdoc. and your meds are free. i hope that you can find some help...i'm keeping you in my thoughts. pat

[jmo531]

I responded to this post and yet again, it has been stolen by the cyber monster. GOSH I hate that........

In a nut shell, Pat has given you some really good advice on seeking sevices. I have dont that in the past and received excellent care.

It is a good sign that you know you need help. We so often feel that we are not worthy of help because we feel so bad about ourselves.

Please feel free to PM me if needed. For any reason. OK? We are all here to support eachother. Take care and please keep us posted.


Huggles

catholic charities, domestic violence agencies, rape crisis centers, suicide hotline centers, all have free services for therapy and also have lists of other area agencies that offer free or sliding scale (as little as a dollor depending on your income). Salvation army and homeless shelters, department of human services (social services), disabled services,County mental health agencies, alcohol and drug services also have lists of community agencies free of charge and sliding scale fees.

((((((((((Kneedhelp))))))))))))))))

[Valis]

Hmm. Good advice given above, but I think the hardest part about getting out of a depression, or whatever the heck we call it, is beginning in the first place.

Eh...I guess this post was no help.

[kneedhelp]

I'm feeling a little better today...Thank you Lord!!

I'm overwelmed by the outpouring of aid. Thanks for the hugs and suggestions on where to seek help . The hugs may be virtual but they truly mean so much.

(((((((((((( everyone here ))))))))))))))

If I can be of help to anyone, please contact me.

My best to all of you,
John

[BlueFaith]

That's great kneed. I'm glad you are feeling better!!

-Jennifer-