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#1
Jan 04, 2011, 08:33 PM
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After nearly a month of being in really good control of my depression, the last several days I seem to be falling apart again. And no one seems to care. I don't talk to any of my so called "friends", they don't even try to talk to me. And when we do, when they ask how I'm doing I know it's out of courtesy and not real concern or interest.
No one seems to care whether or not I live or disappear of the face of the earth. It seems like I'm fighting this myself and no one wants to help me. I just want to dig a hole, jump in it, and cry. All these black holes are reopening themselves in my soul and they just keep sucking and sucking the life out of me. And yet no one cares that I'm breaking again. No one wants to see through my charade, and even when I'm not pretending everything's fine they still don't give one damn that I'm broken. Can I cry now? |
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#2
Jan 04, 2011, 10:28 PM
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Of course you may cry, Dinosgorawr16. But, will the tears appear? Will the tears be a relief or a burden?
__________________
My dog  mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it.
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#3
Jan 05, 2011, 01:01 AM
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People do care that you exist, it's just your depression which tells you otherwise.
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#4
Jan 05, 2011, 01:08 AM
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When you're that sad it's so easy to fall into such a pit of despair that you feel nothing matters, and that you don't matter.
But you do. Your friends may not know what to say or do to help you. But I would imagine if they are real friends that they do care - they just don't know how to express it or help you. I'm sorry you feel so down and despondent. You're welcome to cry all you want. But don't let depression and tears shut you down from the world outside. Reach out if you can. I bet you'd be surprised about how many actually do care. |
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#5
Jan 05, 2011, 02:28 AM
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I'm sorry that you're feel broken at this time
 . Life is so difficult for us with depression and it feels like many in your life don't care. It's not that, but rather they have no idea what you are going through and how painful it is. I am still working through the process of not BLAMING my family for not understanding my depression and anxiety. How could they really, fullly understand when they are not ME??Yes you can definitely cry. I cry often! But if you were OK and then there was a change, maybe you can talk to your pdoc or T if you have one about this change? Z
__________________
Medications: Venlafaxine (Effexor) 75mg dailyDivalproex (Valproic Acid) 600mg daily Seroquel (Quetiapine) 100mg daily ZMAN
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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