[pinkestpink]

I let myself cry and since then I have been so depressed. I just wish I could bring back the numbness and not have to feel anymore.
I had been doing so well... I think i got scared... I was too happy, I started thinking and got sad, and then let myself cry... I never cry.
To top it all off I got some horrible news about a lady who is very dear to me.
why does this have to be so hard? Why can't i let myself stay happy... it like I know i am gonna be depressed soon enough, so i can't even let me be happy even if it is for a short time. I am just so done with this.

The truth is that, “Life,” as Chicago therapist and teacher Harold Balikov used to say, “is not user friendly,” and emotional pain and behavioral problems in living are part of being human and living life.

Hello, pinkestpink. You allowed yourself to feel. Hiding your feelings under a veil of numbness may postpone the work that needs to get done to live a more meaningful life but is at best only a short-term solution.

http://www.redbookmag.com/print-this...imist?page=all
http://www.medicinenet.com/script/ma...38&pf=3&page=1
http://www.uic.edu/depts/wellctr/dimen.shtml

Good luck.

[Leed]

Hi Pinkest ~ I agree with Byzantine ~ You did allow yourself to be human! We ALL get very bad news at one point or another -- and it does put us in a very bad space. We'll cry about it and then we'll be blue for awhile. If you continue with depression for too long, then you need to talk to your doctor about it. But if it's just normal 'sadness' after hearing bad news, you're just NORMAL.

Some feelings can be torturous - they can really hurt. We should only get concerned if they continue for an extended length of time. Do you think that's what's happening? If so, please talk to your doctor or therapist. You may need an antidepressant. And if you're already on one, you may need a change - we become used to them after awhile, and they need changing to a different one.

I wish you the very best - I know how awful depression is. I've battled it all my life. God bless and please take care of yourself. Hugs, Lee

[turquoisesea]

Hello, pinkestpink. You allowed yourself to feel. Hiding your feelings under a veil of numbness may postpone the work that needs to get done to live a more meaningful life but is at best only a short-term solution.

I know how much it hurts to cry after being so numb, having been there myself. I don't know much about you - are you going to therapy? What are you doing to feel better? Unfortunately you're probably going to have to face and deal with these negative feelings, to feel better, and it's easier done with help than alone. Take care!

[pinkestpink]

thank you everyone, i appreciate the support
still not doing very good... i haven't been seeing a therapist.. i have been thinking about going back, but i am don't want to make that call...my t said i was doing great and i was finished... but obviously i am not... but i feel weak, feel like i am never gonna get better. thanks again everyone