[Artsywoman45]

I have been in and out of an abusive relationship for three years and at one point was strong and moved away out of state for one year and a half by myself with my Cat and was doing better as even though I still loved him, I could not easily fall into contacting and seeing him when I felt vunerable thus compromising my recovery from the abuse. It was of couse difficult, as I have no family as they were highly dysfunctional and abusive also, so I have to count on myself and be strong. I am strong, but I missed him and also part of me missed my home, so I decided to move back. Now a year and half almost to years later I am horribly depresed and feel angry, stupid and a fool for believing he would change and truly love and care for me. I wish I had remained in the other state a thousand miles away and gave myself time to heal. I want to move back. I cannot see myself moving forward and healing from him or the other abusive parts of my past completely staying in this area. I want to continue therapy in the new state, but not here. I have worked very hard on other childhood issues in therapy here, but I feel I cannot begin again here. It is too overwhelming with him and the childhood issues I grew up with but overcame, nevertheless they are still around. Does anyone or has anyone experienced this and have you felt these feelings?

[Rohag]

Hello, Artsywoman45 (& Zelda, too)!

Originally Posted by Artsywoman45

I cannot see myself moving forward and healing from him or the other abusive parts of my past completely staying in this area.

My experiences incline me to agree. That is, physical proximity to the abusive environment will make healing all the harder; physical distance will facilitate the healing.

As the situation permits, I believe getting away from the scene of the trauma offers the better chances to move forward. All the best to you

[mr09]

i have felt very similar on a much smaller scale. i was in an emotional/verbal relationship. it was my first relationship and it was terrible. it was deceiving when i was in it. i was manipulated into thinking i was loved. i don't really want to get into it - but i know how harmful abuse can be.

my ex goes to university with me. she graduates in may. i cannot wait for her to leave. i have worked extremely hard the last month on distancing myself, not talking to her at all, ignoring emails and thoughts about missing her. its so hard but vie never felt better. vie been going through this for months. the only way to get better is to get away and work on yourself. we cant change the other person nor will they wake up one day different, no matter how much we believe they can or how much we want to believe they are the person we first fell in love with. do yourself a favor and heal, gain strength and move on. you deserve to be happy.