[ButterfliPrincess11]

Hi there. I have been feeling down lately. I cry seems like all the time. I even cry for no reason. I feel that I have let people down when i can not help or do for them. I feel also feel guilt. I empty, hopeless inside. I get agitated easily. Certain people gets on my nerves. I get even restless. Constantly trying to get comfortable. I stress about work, home, people i care about, rather or not i hurt someones feeling. I worry alos. Today, I felt like i was so anxious. I had to breath in and out deeply to ease my nerves. My hands were shaky. My body aches especially my lower back. I am very stiff. I just feel alone. Even tho i have people to talk to around me. I feel like if i discuss how i feel, i will be bringing their spirits down with me. I have been this way for awhile now. Over half of last year and still going thru it now. I have bad "thoughts" and my mind races. Lately, it has been scaring me a bit. I kind of feel so close in. I feel like i am on the edge of having a nerves breakdown. It like I can be in a great, happy, cheerful mood one min and something will click and i will be in a bad, angry, negative thinking mood. I try to hid it but it is written all over my faces. I don't know if it is depression or not but i am tired of feeling this way. I feel like i am not a good person but others say yes I am. I just don't believe. I am very hard on myself. Scared to try new things in fear of being judge or upsetting someone. I just want to feel like my old self: happy, fun to be around. Even tho friends and family feel like i am, I don't How do I get out of this "funk"? Is it depression? How do I bounce back?

[Rohag]

Hello & Welcome, ButterfliPrincess11!

Originally Posted by ButterfliPrincess11

Over half of last year and still going thru it now.

All of what you've described could be depression and more. Especially considering you've been struggling with these symptoms for over six months, it's likely you will need assistance of some type in getting "out of it." Is it within your means to see a doctor or other professional, particularly one who will give you a full medical workup alongside considering depression (some physical conditions share symptoms with depression)?

[ButterfliPrincess11]

Hi and thank you..

I never had tried to seek help. I wouldn't even know where to start. It is like I am fighting within myself. Is there something else that the way I am feeling could be other than possible depression?

[Leed]

Hi ~ This sounds like a bad case of anxiety to me. I suffered from that before myself, and I had most of the symptoms that you describe. First I would talk to my regular doctor -- perhaps he would prescribe something for you. And hopefully he would refer you to a therapist or psychiatrist for therapy. I really think that you need someone to talk to. It doesn't have to be long-term, but I do think that you would benefit from some therapy AND medication.

Please call your doctor and make an appointment. You don't have to suffer like this. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

[karenws]

I think that depression can sometimes be the cocoon phase of a metamorphosis that allows you to switch from one source of pleasure to another. Before this all started, did you lose something - a relationship, a goal, an expectation about the future? If so, this depressive episode could be the process of letting it go so you can move on to find new sources of reward in your life.

[Elana05]

Hi ButterfliPrincess11,

It could be depression or there may be other causes. I would go see a doctor and make sure to ask for a blood test that will test to see if you have any deficiencies. I myself was very low in vitamin D (it is common) and this can sometimes lead to anxiety. So it is best to test this and rule out any vitamin D deficiency.

Sending supportive thougts your way...

Elana

[ButterfliPrincess11]

Originally Posted by karenws

I think that depression can sometimes be the cocoon phase of a metamorphosis that allows you to switch from one source of pleasure to another. Before this all started, did you lose something - a relationship, a goal, an expectation about the future? If so, this depressive episode could be the process of letting it go so you can move on to find new sources of reward in your life.

This is when i believe it all started. Last May, I gotten my evaluation from work from my boss-lady. She had wrote down all the things I did, my emotions, attitude, all pertaining to work. She gave me a copy of this list. That has stuck with me for the longest. She told me that she been noticing this since 3 months prior to May. I was in disbelief because i didn't noticing any of the things she was saying. The only thing I was fed up w/ her because i felt like i was doing all her work and she wasn't doing nothing. I wasn't use to working by myself. I use to work two jobs at the same place until my boss now pull me up full time. I was devasted to leave my other job. Crying and everything. My former employees including my bestie would come and check on me. They still do now. It seems every since then, my mood has went down down down. I feel I am not good enough. I am not doing my best. I am a failure. Just awful. My friend told me recently, when we was talking about my moods,that she knew then that it was going to eat at me. I shook my head, yeap, you are right.
Then little over 3 months ago, my grandpa had died suddenly in the hospital. That was a big blow to the family. We were all devasted but we hung in there for each other. Have a good support system. We close but now that close to where i will feel comfortable to go up to them and tell them what is wrong with me.
I have a boyfriend who i can't really touch or conversate with because he is lockup. We have good moments and bad. Right now, it is like we are hanging on with a thread. He wants me to open up but i can't not fully like that. I keep trying to compare him.

There is plenty of more. These are just some of the things. Yall, I am just not sure. Just want to change these bad "funks" into good "funks".