bottomless

feel like I'm constantly sinking further and further down into a bottomless lake
can't even scream because of the water all around me
then there are times when I float up to the surface to breathe the living air... just to go down under again

Hello, HeartWhispers. So sorry you are in the grips of a malaise. I hope you find the help you need.

HeartWhispers, is this bottomless lake the same pit that swallowed you last year? What helped you out of the pit then?

May all of this only enhance your creativity.

Wow,are you depressed or just a cool free form poet? Seriously. If you are genuinely suffering this is a great place to get help.

ty for caring! I'm seeking my way through the darkness...

hmm... last year.... yeah.... but more often than that I'm afraid. I just can't stand seeing my children hurting... and how life became in so many other aspects.

ty Rohag for your listening ear

suffering? yes!
poet? I do write...

I'm thinking about "the old days"... what's changed in my life since I was younger and how I've not really succeeded in anything.
How I've brought children to this world both of them hurting...
I feel stuck in quicksand reaching out for a branch to grab a hold of...

ty Emotional Ninja for your reply!

Did you read my profile? I have one daughter and she has ASPD. I knew something was wrong with her from the time she was born, but had no idea how to categorize it. In the 80's neither did her physciatrist or therapist. They were totally unable to reach her or explain to me why they could not. They acutually told me they pitied me and said they would continue to counsel me for any possible help they could provide me to help me. If you are unfamiliar with ASPD its what we used to call sociopathy. Put simply, my daughter is incapable of loving me except as I am useful to her. She has been in pain her whole life and I have been unable to help her. Her condition has an extremely low success rate even with every available medication and therapy currently existing. The point of all this was to let you know I know exactly how it feels to see your children hurting and feel helpless to do anything about it. I sincerely wish I could bring you some kind of comfort but I don't know what to say. The only thing I know is that you are not alone. Please let me help support you at least emotionally. Best wishes, stay strong.