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#1
Feb 12, 2011, 02:24 PM
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I started a new med. It was working great! But the reason i relapsed before i started meds, is my job. I don't think the meds can combat that stress... I go into work and I feel so sick. I work with kids with disablitites and have five all by myself. I have been asking for help for 6 months. I almost quit a few weeks ago, but now i am stuck because I am enrolled in a class at a community college and if i pull out, ill have to pay the loan right back... I can't so now i have to stay in this job.
i feel like there is so much pressure on me to do all these things, I am getting a new kid, a kid who got kicked out of the school because she bit a teacher. Now i am expected to work my magic and"fix" the kid... I already get hit and slapped around by another kid at work, so a biter isn't exactly what i would love to have... I have already taken sick days to try and make it... I want to be happy, I havent wanted to be happy for a long time, I just wanted to be numb and robot my way through life... now I really just wish the happy feeling was back and I could keep it... sorry this is long, just need to get it out.
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"Today you are you. That is truer than true. There is no one alive that is you're than you. Shout aloud, "I am glad to be what I am Thank goodness I'm not a ham or a clam or a dusty old bottle of gooseberry jam! I am what I am. What a great thing to be. If I say to myself, happy everyday to me!" - Dr. Seuss |
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#2
Feb 12, 2011, 03:32 PM
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pinkest i hope things improve and you can find a less stressful job. i think most of us would agree that is a difficult job. it requires so much patience and the children have behavioral problems. just try to take this a day at a time for now and know your freedom will come. you can feel happier i believe once you complete this stint. if it were me i'd stay out of that field.
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand |
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#3
Feb 12, 2011, 05:19 PM
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Hi Pink, do you work at a school? Are there other caregivers like you who are feeling the same way about their workload? How about getting together with them even if just to share and vent?
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#4
Feb 12, 2011, 05:49 PM
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Hi dear Pink ~ Bless your heart -- It takes a special person to be able to do your job ~ and I think that you ARE a special person. It's just that right now, you're a bit exhausted!
 I really think that some time off would do you good, and that you should get away somewhere where people can't bother you -- where you can just sleep and eat whenever you please. Do you have any short--term disability time available to you?? If you do, why not take it?? Take off for awhile and just REST at some nice place where nobody knows you. Then just watch TV or sleep or whatever you feel like doing. You need some YOU time. Right now, all you have time for is sleeping, and I'd bet that you aren't sleeping very well. You need to get PLENTY of sleep - and if you went away for awhile, I'm sure you'd get some much needed sleep.See if you can take some time off - just so you can "reboot" yourself. LOL. I hope you can. God bless & take care. Hugs, Lee |
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#5
Feb 13, 2011, 05:09 PM
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Ya, I am working at a school. Everyone else is pretty happy with what they have, they have the kids that are completely independent and don't need help at all even with personal hygien....
I have the youngest and the most severe disabilities... one that are completely dependent for just about everything... so it takes a toll on me since i am doing a two person job. I know burnout is something that happens when working with kids, i have worked with them my whole life, but in a month here i was burned out. I asked for help and got the run around for three months. I then told them I was going to transfer to a different department if I didn't get help. They got it approved in a day. But two months later I am still waiting... They say every thursday that I will have help on Monday.... I wish I could take some time, they have no subs for our positions. So taking time off wouldn't really be a viable option. Ill take another sick day on Monday if there is still noone, but it just get passed on to someone else and takes them away from their kids. At the end of this school year I am leaving. There is nothing that can keep me here. It is so sad because all i really want to do is make a difference. I want to do peacecorps, but due to my depression, they won't let me go. I would love to serve a mission for my church, but the same thing applies. I have to be stable for a year... and I know thats never going to happen. All I want to do is make a difference.... but i don't i just get stuck in crappy jobs. My next job probably won't be that great either... I am just scared to move and get another job... i am never happy ever. *sigh* Sorry... just complaining, thank you for all of your comments and support!
__________________
"Today you are you. That is truer than true. There is no one alive that is you're than you. Shout aloud, "I am glad to be what I am Thank goodness I'm not a ham or a clam or a dusty old bottle of gooseberry jam! I am what I am. What a great thing to be. If I say to myself, happy everyday to me!" - Dr. Seuss |
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