[Estee1]

I used to be filled with terrible feelings of loneliness. I would be desperate for someone to hold me or just to touch me. But I haven't felt lonely for months. I don't think this is a normal thing either. How can a person never ever feel lonely? That is not human. I think that people were made to have relationship so not desiring relationship can't be good. Have I just turned my feelings off?

[Lexicon78]

This could be a positive thing. It's normal to feel lonely, but it's also a good thing not to feel that loneliness. Just relish in the fact that you're not lonely anymore.

I might be completally wrong here so I'm going to use the "I" to reply to you.

I got to a point that I was so overwhelmed by people wanting and wanting from me and they were never never sastified by what I had to offer that I tried really really hard to isolate myself from everyone. I managed to push away people from me for a time ( this time wasn't long enough for me) and I didn't felt alone at all. I would have done that for quite a long time if I would have had a choice.

I think that maybe you are overwhelmed by people around you and you are simply enjoying your time alone. Maybe you need this time alone for a while. A time to breath.

As I said I might be completally wrong here. I'm just going by what I feel.

I hope the best for you! Take good care!

Time0

It's good to be able to experience solitude without freaking out. It's good to be able to keep your own company and still maintain your happiness.

But if you ever wake up, in this state of isolation, and it feels like your chest has been hit with a sledgehammer then you're probably in the process of healing.
Hashing out old pains and coming to terms with them is necessary.
Like having a bad break up with a lover. You go into hiding for awhile. Soon, you're okay and you're happy again and it's going to be okay because now you're ready to embrace a new relationship because the old wounds have had time to heal.
Take the same situation but instead of going into hiding, you immediately go out to find another lover to heal the pain for you-what are you really doing? That would not be healthy.

I think you're taking a healthy route to take time out to take an inventory of your life and figure things out. You're not just covering it up with a lot of noise so you can pretend like it's not there. (So many people I know, do this.)

Learning to make yourself happy is a very positive step.
Don't put yourself down for it. When you're ready to get out there again, you'll know and do what you need to do.
(((((((((Estee))))))))) Trust your inner wisdom.

[dexter]

Estee I also don't think this is necessarily a bad thing.

I used to never be lonely, although I was alone a lot. In fact I was always proud of the fact that although I wasn't a hermit... I always loved to go out and experience thing with friends... I also wasn't so reliant on that that I couldn't have a good time being by myself... going to the movies by myself, going out to dinner by myself, even going to amusement parks by myself.

With the depression I am now finding my self lonely long with my aloneness. It is a very hard feeling.

I can't speak to your situation though... I say trust your instincts if you feel that there is something bad about this... BUT (and jeez, here is the tricky part) if you DO feel there is something wrong, you have to also make sure it isn't your depression making you hurt and see things negatively when that doesn't reflect reality.

If you are just worrying out of wondering about it and noticing a change, I say there is no need to think that it is abnormal and might actually be a good thing, if you can think so about it. I also think that "not being lonely" does not equal "not wanting a relationship" because a relationship sought just to fill a void may not be a healthy one, I believe it is best when the people in a relationship "add" to one another's enjoyment of life but don't rely on one another in order to be happy (although support during rough times is something different and also required).

Did any of that make sense or am I just blathering more than I usually do today???

In any case I hope you can find some comfort in all of our support.

[Estee1]

Yes it makes sense I think. My brain is mush at the moment so it's hard to understand what I'm reading. The words go in and then bounce off. I forget what I just read. He he. It's like being in a washing machine, spinning round and round. Thanks for your thoughts. ((((((((((hugs)))))))))