***** has hit the fan

I don't understand why bad things happen but my theory is that it is to mold us and shape us and create in us character and strength. I have been through many many valleys...and all I do know is that what goes down must come up again and visa versa...and in the mean time - we always had what we needed to survive...that doesn't mean we have posh apartments or live at the Ritz Carlton in Double Bay - but we have a food, shelter, and clothing and we met wonderful people who helped us through those terrible dark and lonely times....

It still gets dark, but it will never be as dark as it was during that period in my life, and I can almost bet the same will hold true for you.

You don't have to be religious to have faith in something greater than you that's in control of all things....

I believe there is a reason for the madness....

BUT

it doesn't ease the pain of our suffering.

Love and Peace...

J

no faith right now. it gets so exhausting when evrytime things go well, something bad happesn. someone dies or whatever. it's always something. it never faisl. everytime i manage to get back on my feet, something else knocks me back down. i'm getting too tired to get back up. i don'tw ant to get back up. it's not worth it.

oh god, n ow the realtors started calling to see if we want to sell out house, because we're on the foreclosure list now. still haven't talked to my husband. this is too much. it's just oo much.

realtors are coming to the door now too.

i got an appt with jag, but that's in a week. how am i going to deal with this for another week???

Your husband is earning money as a private contractor in Afghanistan, so there should be plenty of money to get the house payments back in order once you get the money situation squared away.

I know the horrible helpless feeling we get when our husbands go off taking care of the working but leave us with the home front mess without the finances to take care of everything.

I remember one time my husband's work sent him to Italy for an unspecified amount of time. I was deep in the depths of depression. His check was in his name & was sitting at his work. I didn't have money for gas to get to the check, I couldn't have done anything with it even if I could have gotten it because it was in his name only. He had stopped the automatic deposit because of some other financial messes he had gotten us into. The house payment came due & there was no sign that he was going to be home any time soon. His excuse for it all was that the company sent him over to Italy before they gave him time to take care of any of the financial issues that he needed to take care of here & left me with the mess he caused.

In the long run things sort of worked out, but he ended up getting fired from the company because he needed to come back home to take care of the mess he left me in.....I ended up not even having enough money for food & his lack of ability to responsibly take care of things just pushed me into a deeper depression.

Needless to say, I finally got into a position where I was able to leave him & not am able to completely take care of myself without having to depend on his lack of ability to take care of anything responsibly when it comes to finances.

I am sure that everything will work out for you as he is working & earning money, there just doesn't seem like you are able to access the money he's earning to take care of things financially at home. You just need to get the arrangements made so that you have the use of the money he's earning so that you can keep up on the expenses that he & you have at home.....know it will all work out in the end, but know how stressful it is during the process of sorting through everything & getting it worked out.

thank you! I do have full access to our money (he never calls it his money), but he just started, and the first pay check is two weeks away. The mess all started before he left. Once everything gets worked out (which hopefully it will) we won't have any problems making our mortgage payments or paying our bills, it's just right now, this mess, and the transition period between jobs....

Hi,

Things will get better. I am sorry that this is happening to you.