[whenwillitend]

and not in a good way. he just had his therapy appt, and his therapist told me that nighttime is the worst for him, that's when he worries the most, when he's scared the most, when his anxiety is highest. Just like me. And so, at night, he picks his legs until they bleed. His legs look awful, scars and scabs all over. I think that counts as SI. Just like me. And she told me that my son (who has anger issues) knows the proper coping techniques, but that his emotions get so overwhelming that he just blows up. Just like me, just that I don't get angry, I cut.

I was crying on the way home. What have I done to my child??? Maybe I should not have had any kids. My son is going to end up just like me. I feel absolutely horrible. and that's making things so much worse. like i don't feel bad enough already. one more thing to stress about.

[online user]

So sorry you are worrying so. You are learning to cope; your son will too. Hopefully strides will be made in understanding mental illnesses and medications to help so he won't have as tough a road as you have. The fact that you understand his emotions has to be a help. You ARE a caring mother and that means more than anything. Hugs to you!

[whenwillitend]

thank you. i just feel that all his issues are my fault. i know depression is hereditary, and my mom had it too. i feel so guilty.

[Leed]

Please don't feel guilty. Did your Mom have THAT too??? Don't let him sense that you feel guilty for this -- this ISN'T your fault!! There is NO place for the word FAULT in mental illness. You didn't 'do' this to him.

Heredity comes into play alot with this type thing. You can't control that. So how can you be guilty for it? Please throw that guilt away, and don't pick it back up again. He cannot sense that you're feeling guilty because that will throw him into a tailspin and it's not doing YOU any good either.

Forget about guilt. The point is that both of you are learning coping skills. That's the most important thing. Perhaps you can learn together. In the meantime, just give him the love and support that he needs -- but save some for yourself too! God bless you. My prayers are with you. Hugs, Lee