[Perzephone]

It has robbed me of even my simple holiday traditions... Usually, for Samhain (that's Hallowe'en for the masses) I would dress up, I would hand out candy & me & my husband would scare little kids, the house would be decorated to the max, I'd put up my dumb supper for my dead people, I'd do some Tarot readings to see what the next year holds... or maybe I'd go to someone else's celebration or hold one myself. In other words, I'd be having a ball right now. This year I'm sitting in front of my computer in my nightie, the porch light is off to signify, "No trick or treaters here, please", no cheshire-cat jack o'lantern graces my doorstep... I definitely don't want to even leave the house but I still have to go to work in a few hours, I haven't messed w/my Tarot for a year (since last Hallowe'en - my latest run of bad depression hit me last November & hasn't gone away)... I've still got to feed the dead folk, but this year it feels like an obligation instead of the joyous communion it should be. I'm at the point where I just want to send my hubby for Del Taco... And partying? Well other than work making it out of the question (I could have had tonight off, but I knew it wouldn't matter - all my supervisors were asking if I needed coverage tonight, they're very understanding of the various religious holidays we all have, which is normally a blessing)... I just don't have the oomph to go & be among happy shiny people tonight.

And for the first time in a long time, I feel miserable about feeling miserable, and I wish I could just snap my fingers or wiggle my nose & say, "I'm not depressed anymore!" and have it happen.

Depression is a thief - it's stolen a great deal of everything that makes life worth living, and it's a repeat offender, too. It sneaks in to every aspect of my life & takes a little bit more away every day...

it took my Christmas last year and the year before. i understand completely. i'm sorry......xoxoxo pat

yup is sure does zap the holidays. Im usually down on the holidays but its even worse without my son to brighten the day with his spur of the moment antics so I was double whammyed today that is until I read about the thread killers. you might try looking there. it might lighten things up a little for you. hang in there. holloween will be over soon.

[NICO]

its stolen 5 years of my life lol so i know how your feelin, but in those 5 reclusive fear riddled years i know now theres been some positive healin goin on behind the scenes. comon hang in there i have faith you.

[Yack]

It's stolen 2 of my Christmas's.

[dottie]

I do agree depression is a thief. In time tho...you can learn to take it back tho. if you are willing.

TGC

[dexter]

Two or three Christmases/Hanukahs... Several Halloweens, Thanksgivings. Thanksgiving is typically a time that I spend alone and use it as a weekend to enjoy just being with myself, but that was not possible with the depression, so I consider that ruined too even though it didn't change my plans or my actions.

Worst is how it stole my best Star Wars experiences for Episode II and Episode III. I was able to find a little enjoyment from Episode III but I wasn't fully "connected" and the premiere itself was very flat, disappointing, and sad for me. Literally once-in-a-lifetime events, lost to me forever.

I haven't posted much about that event yet but I probably should... because there were a lot of moments that I was very proud of and it will probably lift my spirits a bit to talk about them.

[Perzephone]

Thank you all... I've been sitting here trying to remember one really good day, and they've all been pre-mid-November...

I have my little ups here & there, a nice stretch of a few weeks when Autumn first started, but my emotions have been kind of like late August feels to me - it's still got the heat of Summer, but all the fire's gone out of it, and there's a chill at the bottom of the evening breeze.