[embracinglife]

I feel really numb.

Lately I've been actively trying out different 12-step programs....al-anon, CODA, and Adult Children....Tonight I went to my first CODA meeting. It seemed way less intense than all of the other 12 step programs I've been to, yet at the same time hit at one of my core issues.

The reason I've been seeking out these various groups is that my new therapist gave me the idea that my childhood issues, dysfunctional family/codependecy might be part of the cause of my depression.

Anyways, tonight at the group the "theme" sort of was about trusting yourself. This is something I really need to learn how to do lately. It's very hard for me to trust myself. It's hard for me to know what my best choice is...what's the right thing for me to do for my life. (I'm having a lot of issues with my current job and am having some confusion or lack of trust in myself about whether I should leave).

Another thing is that I am learning that it is very important for my mental health to practice good self-care....but at the same time I am finding it very hard to take care of myself. Why is that?

Anyways, these are just thoughts. I am wondering if others of you have found relief from some depression through 12-step groups or through working through childhood traumas. And how do you practice self-care, even when it is tough?

[Elana05]

Hi embracinglife,

I can really relate. I also recently started both Al-Anon and ACoA (along with therapy). I find the ACoA meetings especially intense. I think all in all, both programs have been making me feel worn out. And confused. And angry. Blah. So many emotions -- mostly I feel like a deer caught in the headlights so I'm trying to at least "just keep coming back." I SO relate to what you described about finding it hard to trust yourself. I find it almost impossible at times and this has come up a lot for me in therapy.
I'm so glad to hear you have been able to make some connections that were helpful for you. The CODA group does sound interesting and I have been thinking of looking into it too. I know this kind of self care isn't always easy. But you are doing the work and that is important. PM me if you would like to talk more...

Elana

[Patriciann]

It makes me feel good to see how hard you are working at helping yourself.

>>> I am wondering if others of you have found relief from some depression through 12-step groups or through working through childhood traumas. And how do you practice self-care, even when it is tough?<<<

I used to go to OA for my food addiction and even had a friend that went to AA for her alcohol recovery and we would 'compare notes' on our experiences and that was very helpful. I had childhood traumas that until they were healed and I was in a secure, loving relationship with my husband they did present me challenges. Before recovery I used to withdraw from stressful/painful situations and became very protective of myself. It is interesting because now that I'm coping with disability that forces me to be stuck at home alone after the death of my husband I'm beginning to become very protective of myself once again and because I'm stuck at home I have to work at overcoming the isolation by reaching out and connecting and I do this through the internet. I even met the one friend I do have here in town through the internet. In many ways it has saved my life. The way I survive when it is tough is to reach out and be supportive of others coping with life's challenges and let go of everything I can that saps me of the energy needed to heal and begin to feel better.

It just makes me feel really good to see how hard you are working at having a better life. You inspire me to continue to face my challenges. Sending you very gentle ((())) of support and comfort. Patricia