[soscared]

Hi evryone
For the past three weeks even though I am on meds, I am having a real hard time with wanting to live.
Last night I took some pills and drank a little wine, I was not trying to end my life but just try and stop my bad feelings. They are so powerful at times and I can't seem to get my mind straightened around until after I have done someting to my self that could/would be harmful to a certain point. I have overdosed before and have been in the hospital a few times for this.
I am afraid that I will just keep going until I end up in the hospital again.
I wish I could stop this cycle.
I am hoping that just writing this may help some
Thanks for listening/reading and for any ideas you may have to help me out.
I find that as a new user I feel safe here, as you all seem great.

[Peanut61]

I like your nickname Soscared, because it describes how many of us feel at certain times - that's why it's good to have a place like this to express your feelings, and I think it does help. I hope you will keep posting so that we can all get to know you better, and you us. You are not alone here! Warmest regards, Peanut

<font color=blue>HI FROM PEANUT</font color=blue>

[sandee8387]

Originally Posted by soscared

Hi evryone
For the past three weeks even though I am on meds, I am having a real hard time with wanting to live.
Last night I took some pills and drank a little wine, I was not trying to end my life but just try and stop my bad feelings. They are so powerful at times and I can't seem to get my mind straightened around until after I have done someting to my self that could/would be harmful to a certain point. I have overdosed before and have been in the hospital a few times for this.
I am afraid that I will just keep going until I end up in the hospital again.
I wish I could stop this cycle.
I am hoping that just writing this may help some
Thanks for listening/reading and for any ideas you may have to help me out.
I find that as a new user I feel safe here, as you all seem great.

I think we all feel that way, scared. I have two things/people I rely on:

Keep in the moment, don't let yourself think ahead if possible. Talk to God as a person, someone who cares deeply about you . .. . and read his word. I am writing down the history with God, and see how He has met my needs, this allows more trust in Him and a reminder of how He has met my needs in the past. I don't know if you believe in God but having Him has given me a bigger purpose that there is a bigger picture of my life, and I just see a small portion right now. I do believe a have a hope and a future that is good. The process is such a narrow view right now. My heart is with you, sending gentle thoughts and prayers your way.

[Patriciann]

When my thoughts begin to dictate my feelings I stop for a rest. It usually happens when I’m exhausted. I let go of all of my thoughts and just focus on the rest – I often will listen to very soothing music. Once I’m well rested I can begin to replace the negative thoughts with more useful ones. If I have been telling myself that I’m worthless, I then begin to take the time to see all that makes me worthwhile and I am then able to ‘replace’ the negative thought with a positive one. I then do this with the other negative thoughts until they have been resolved. I do this combined with reaching out and trying to be of support to others as they work through their life’s challenges. So far this process has worked pretty well for me. Sending you very gentle ((())) of support and comfort - Patricia

[lastyearisblank]

Poor ((so scared)); it sounds as if you're going through such a rough time! I hope that you can be kinder to your body and not drink w/ pills so much. Do you have someone you can talk to about it?