[SmackytheFrog]

I find myself feel exceptionally lonely tonight. I was feeling good before, pretty happy about a job interview well done and watching geeky St. Patty's ghost promos but now I just feel detached. I want to talk to my boyfriend about it and try to fill the void, but tonight he is glued to his computer game (as I found out when he asked me to do a Tarot reading for him and then wouldn't leave the couch or pay attention to the proceedings). He occasionally asks what's wrong but I feel like if I explain to him how I feel he'll just think I'm being whiny or something. Maybe I am, but I can't help feeling lonely, sad and sort of hollow.

I miss my friends and family. We moved 2 hrs away from them originally for school but now that I'm not attending school I just feel restless. Yet I don't want to move back now because I'm looking into taking Animal Care next winter. I feel like I have no real support out here, yeah my bf should be my support but I feel like being my only support is draining on him. Is it strange that I feel that I always have to be busy interacting with people or visiting to feel like this void is filled? Or maybe I'm just distracting myself from it. Who knows.

Questions arise in my mind like: why am I here? Am I even really here? Is this relationship going to last if we continue this lifestyle of sitting in the same room on laptops but not really spending time together? I feel like I am missing something in my life.

Fortunately my kitty, Tsuki seems to sense something's up and has taken residence up on my chest making it tricky to type. Partially because she keeps pawing at the touchpad of the mouse.

[Twisti]

Im so very sorry you feel so alone right now....I can relate so much as far as the other person in the relationship being there but not being there. My husband plays PC games ALL the time in his spare time after work etc...

Hugs to you.

[Can't Stop Crying]

So sorry that you're lonely. I find that for me it gives me too much time to think...maybe that's what you're referring to when you talk about distractions. Thinking for a bit is okay, but unfortunately I usually wind up stuck there until something snaps me out of it. Do you have any hobbies? I know when I feel like that, painting is a good distraction for me

[SmackytheFrog]

@Twisti
I guess its good to know I'm not the only one dealing with this problem. Its so frustrating! I'm right across from him but I feel like we're worlds apart. Fortunately though I suggested a hike today and he was game. Hopefully as a bonus my dog will jump in the river and have a bit of a bath

@Cant Stop Crying
Thanks for the ideas. I don't really paint (I'm not very good at it haha) but I've considered trying to start. If nothing else I think I might be able to illustrate my emotions through use of colour. As for current hobbies though I write stories with a friend but he's also absorbed in PC games now. I'm thinking about starting to garden once spring really kicks in though. Maybe by the time summer kicks in I can gave my own little oasis of peace in my backyard

[lostandlonely41]

We make our own happiness not anyone else. This is our job.
Yep...technology has taken over and it is sad because most people don't interact on a personal level anymore- Text or email have won most of the population over and it is sad. If you are in college maybe taking a road trip or even a bus to an old neighborhood would do you some good. By all means, talk to your boyfriend-he needs to know what is going on with you.... don't worry about being whiny....just approach him a calm manner and tell him you could use an extra hug or two or suggest that the two of you venture outside and do something different together if he doesn't feel like it...doesn't mean you can't- this is your LIFE shape into the form you want. Hope this helps.

[SmackytheFrog]

Thanks LostandLonely41. I know I can't depend on him for my happiness, I just wish I could see him as something to start from lately. He's been so wrapped up in his game that he's just ignored his portion of the chores so I feel like my house is gross, which continues to bring me down. I feel like I should clean it but then he'll just continue leaving messes everywhere like a child.

Our walk didn't happen either today. Its supposed to happen tomorrow but I don't know. I slept most of the day instead to avoid this empty feeling. But now I'll probably be up all night.