[Butterfly_Faerie]

I don't know wtf is wrong with me.

Well anyways, my ex called the house today (my parents house) the ex that I was talking about that I felt iffy about seeing.

Well he talks to my sister and comes down to have coffee for about an hour.

I was a bit bummed out hearing this for whatever reason, because why wouldn't she have called me to say guess whose here etc.

I haven't talked to him in a few weeks and I was actually wondering about him today... and then he goes to have coffee with my sister because he was in the area, stayed about an hour then went to take the bus back to where he is staying.

After this I felt that low sinking feeling in my stomache... good ol' depression.

Why would this upset me?

I heard also that within a month he is going back out West, he's bored being here etc.

Guess he broke his promise to his family that he'd stay put for a year.

Maybe it feels like the past is starting up again... he said see you in a year or 2.. etc.

Just feeling weird about it... Should I be?

I think I'd be a little wierded out about it too, Sundance.
It makes you wonder. I think it's good that he's leaving 'cause then you won't have to run into this again if he's far away.
(((((((Sundance)))))))))

[Butterfly_Faerie]

I'm not freaked about it anymore with him.
My sister said it wasn't awkward at all talking to him.
Why does it bum me out?

I don't know. I could say the obvious... you still have feelings for him?

[Butterfly_Faerie]

no no I'm happily in a relationship with someone for 4 yrs now. Living at the house etc.

I think that was a trigger from the past perhaps, because I just crashed.

[dexter]

Even if you no longer have feelings for him, you must have at one time and they get stirred up (I don't mean that you feel things for him again, just that emotional memories come up) so I think it is normal especially when it involves someone else close to you.

I think we all have "logical" mental links to people... like seeing people we know and like or dislike... and then we also have "mysterious" emotional links that we can't always understand, when someone is close to us. So no matter what that "baggage" is it gets stirred up, and we know it "shouldn't" bother us, but in fact it does for reasons we may not completely understand. I think that is just the nature of the human mind. And when we suffer from depression, when stuff like that gets stirred up, the most negative aspects get magnified, the worst stuff and the worst feelings about ourselves.

I know I have people from my past, people I was never even in a relationship with but that I held deep feelings for, and whenever their name comes up I can feel the blood drain from my face. It is just an automatic reaction and I wish I could "let go" of the past more easily, because these are things that I no longer have any real-world connection to (people I don't have to deal with, etc.)

[dottie]

Hi.

I think so.IMVHO!

~Dottie

[Butterfly_Faerie]

Dottie what does IMVHO mean? I'm not familiar with that.

Thanks Dexter, I agree with you. I did care for him at one time, I wasn't in love with him or anything, but he meant something to me.

Thanks for this post...

[Overcastbutclearing]

IMVHO-in my very humble opinion

[Butterfly_Faerie]

awww gotcha, thank you.. lol.

[Butterfly_Faerie]

to update this thread he came down to my parents house tuesday. said he wanted to fight for me, win me back but was talked out of it.

spent a couple hours with him.........
don't feel like typing much.

[ozzie]

Hi Sundance. Did he say who talked him out of it?

[(JD)]

((((sundance))))) TC

[Butterfly_Faerie]

Thanks Sky..

Ozzie, no he just said a friend of his, likely someone from the resturant that he works at. He was really sad when he left. Made me sad, it was weird. I told him that if it came down to choosing i'd likely be choosing the one that i've been with for 4 yrs, and besides he'd just take off again, he agreed.

Before telling me that he asked if I was happy, truely happy.
I don't know.

[ozzie]

(((((((((((Sundance)))))))))))))) Sounds like a very sad time for both of you.

[Butterfly_Faerie]

I think more for him then me... I was sad that night, but perked up later on that night once my BF came to pick me up and i came home.

Gotta wonder though...

[dottie]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{SUNDANCE}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

TGC

((((((((((((((((Sundance))))))))))))))

time0

[jmo531]

((((((((((((((((((((((((((Sundance)))))))))))))))))))))))))))