[Anya1982]

Hi there.... I've been suffering from depression for an eternity.... I didn't finish my college degree because I was exausted. Now 5 years have passed. And I CAN´T go to class. I just can't. I feel tired. Today I missed again, but now I'm experience extreme guilt. I think my head will explode. Guilt because my parents are paying for my studies and I'm unable to go. Please, has this happened to anyone? It's so painfull....

[AvidReader]

Hi Anya -- I haven't experienced your specific situation -- that is, in regard to college -- but I am very (very) familiar with the emotions you expressed in your post: the depression–guilt cycle, the feelings of frozen inactivity. I, too, have days when I just "can't" do something. Then the guilt kicks in, which makes me more depressed and less likely to "be" able to do something, etc., etc. It's very hard to break this cycle. (Actually, I have not yet figured out a way to do it yet.)

I wish I had a magic wand to wave for you, but I am sending hugs your way, if that helps.

[Leed]

I've experienced something similar. It wasn't college - it was work. I'd been sick and off work for a day ~ but because I knew my job was solid, and because I was exhausted, I called off work for either 4 or 5 days ~ I can't remember. But then the guilt hit me, and I KNEW I couldn't go back there!!! After I'd "taken" them for a few days?? How could I go back?? I had the weekend to think about this -- and it was eating me up.

Finally - I just STEELED myself against whatever was to happen and went to work. I was terrified - I didn't know if I was going to be fired or not. Well, I was WELCOMED back, and everyone was so glad I was back ~ and they all hoped I was all better!! I have never felt so ashamed in my life! Needless to say, I never did anything like that again. They didn't need to punish me -- I did it myself. Hugs, Lee

[Seshat]

Hi, Anya. This is pretty much happening to me right now with uni and I know it's awful. I feel guilty and embarrassed all the time but I'm also exhausted and sometimes a bit ill. When I finished high school, my depression was only a few months old. I thought it wasn't that bad but I ended up being unable to start uni right away. Had to wait a couple of years. For the past few months my family has gone through painful stuff and I think that's why I feel I can't get ahead with school (again!). I try to think about the positive aspects I see in uni itself and try to get strength from that, which is not a wee-bit easy for me and doesn't help me 100% of the time either. I'm sorry I don't have much else to say. You're not alone.

[Seshat]

Hi, Anya. This is pretty much happening to me right now with uni and I know it's awful. I feel guilty and embarrassed all the time but I'm also exhausted and sometimes a bit ill. When I finished high school, my depression was only a few months old. I thought it wasn't that bad but I ended up being unable to start uni right away. Had to wait a couple of years. For the past few months my family has gone through painful stuff and I think that's why I feel I can't get ahead with school (again!). I try to think about the positive aspects I see in uni itself and try to get strength from that, which is not a wee-bit easy for me and doesn't help me 100% of the time either. I'm sorry I don't have much else to say. You're not alone.