[SlatkaMala]

I find myself feeling this gut-wrenching sadness. I think about things in the past and wish that I can go back there. I am terrified at how fast time seems to fly. I feel like I'm beyond help and it's too little too late.

I think about how old my mother is and how little time she possibly has.

I find myself getting into these damned crying spells.

How do you guys deal with this?

[Leed]

Hi ~ I remember getting like that before, and it was so bad I was almost paralyzed with it. I was so incredibly sad!! I HAD to talk to someone before I fell apart. So I looked in the yellow pages and found a psychologist -- and she was wonderful! She saw me for quite awhile, a couple of times a week and gave me my power back. I didn't feel so sad or so unable to do anything about anything!! Before I went to see her, I was crying all the time, and just existing. I don't know how she did it, but she sure pulled me out of it! LOL

I think a therapist is what you need. You need someone who you can talk to ~ who will understand and give you some feedback on what the next right thing is to do. That's why I picked a psychologist. I've been to psychiatrists before and all they seem to do is sit there quietly, but then once in awhile they'll murmur Uh-huh. Jeez doc, thanks!! Great advice! The psychologist actually TALKED -- and offered advice .

I hope you can find a good therapist. I know you won't regret going. It helped to save my life. Best of luck and God bless. Hugs, Lee

[Rohag]

Hello, SlatkaMala!

Originally Posted by SlatkaMala

I find myself feeling this gut-wrenching sadness. ... How do you guys deal with this?

Poorly.

Most of the time my depression manifests as apathy and withdrawal. Occasionally, however, I experience short but intense deep sadness accompanied by loud tears and paralysis. Neither meds nor therapy prevent these spells; I just live through them. After a while the apathy and emptiness return.

I'm sorry.

[Michah]

Hi there!

What you experience sounds a lot like grief.......

Grief for the time you feel you have lost, grief for the fact that your mother is getting older and grief for the toll that depression takes on the soul......

What I sound totally nuts if I said that grief is normal in light of what you are dealing with? Grief is the signal that our body gives us to look within for the answers....and cry if we need to, hide if we need to.......and develop a great love for self.......

It sounds counterintuitive, but do not fight it no matter how bad it feels, embrace it and know that it is your spirit asking for you to........forgive and unconditionally accept. Much more difficult than it sounds, but it can be done.

Take good care, try and enjoy the "moment" and be a bit kinder to self......you are loved.

Michah