Smiling

Just wondering, has anyone ever told you you need to smile more? I've been told that I don't know how many times, and it's never made me feel like smiling more.

I don't recall ever being told that myself, but it strikes me as one of those "probably well meant but actually kind of rude" comments, such as "You look tired."

I'd probably be offended if someone told me I need to smile more and, like you, it would NOT make me feel like smiling. Sorry you've heard that comment.

I finally got wise to the "you should smile more" thing; it showed me how I was coming across "out there" and I went and got counseling (because it matched how I was feeling inside, like not smiling!). I pay attention to what several different people say about me as it is a pretty good guide of what I maybe can't see about myself.

How do you feel/what do you "do" about those telling you to smile more? Have you tried consciously smiling more? It can literally change our mood: http://www.time.com/time/health/arti...871687,00.html

Thanks, Perna. I mean, it's not like I don't WANT to smile, but I'm not really sure why I don't. I guess I have to figure out what's going on in my head (duh) and how that's reflected on my face. But I do think our culture puts too much pressure on people to act happy when they're not. I used to work in this library, and I'd notice who smiled and who didn't. The Brazilians and Russians never did.

I also think smiles can have a lot of different meanings, even a sign of aggression. This may sound weird, but some of the people who smile the most seem really mean to me.

I smile a lot. In fact, when I'm not smiling, I get the "what's wrong?" question.

I wear my heart literally on my sleeve. My face gives away what I'm feeling. Whether or not the smile is genuine, I try to portray myself as happy. It seems to work.

But yeah, I understand where you're coming from. When someone tells me to smile, I don't wanna.

I can honestly understand that. Along with that I sometimes get asked what's wrong or why I look angry when I'm in a good mood so... I end up wondering what's wrong with my face! Hahahaha! I don't know... I reckon people think it'll make you feel better but don't realise how irritating it can be.

I have been told I should smile more. I started making a conscious effort to smile at the cats when I was judging cat shows. Now I smile at them quite regularly--I made it a new habit. I smile more at people as well. I think it's a good thing. But you need to make the effort when you feel OK about it--it should be natural. If you are unhappy, a fake smile doesn't work, I don't think.

You know that quote "dance like no one's watching?" I think it would be cool to smile more for nobody but myself. I do smile a lot socially during the day. But your post made me think- when was the last time you really smiled when you were just happy?

I smiled at a lot of the posts here, especially the one about smiling at cats--thanks, OU!

I mean, a smile can put other people at ease, I guess, and people do lots of stuff they don't feel like doing. Like I have to work on this group project for school, even though I don't want to, because other people are depending on me, and we all sink or swim together.

But I have to draw the line at these laughter clubs. I just watched a video of one of them, and it creeped me out. It just felt like I was looking at a cult.

I think sometimes we are "surprised" when someone tells us we should smile more and in those cases, I would look at that situation; see what was going on (or not). Could just be that we are giving a "blank" look and not engaged with the person? If the person is a friend or acquaintance and we don't "greet" them with a smile, that could be disconcerting to them? Or, if they've just said something they think is smile-worthy but we were self-absorbed and didn't hear it!

The time I remember being told I should smile that got me to call the therapist right away when I got home was by my dentist!

Yeah, as many times as I've heard it, I'm still surprised every time.

I can be in my own world, and so look not engaged, but more often than that, I'm just so anxious, wondering what the other person thinks of me. Self-absorbed, but there you go.

I get a lot of "what's wrong" and then do the fake smile thing so they'll leave me alone. I don't think they really want to know what's wrong....I suppose I could be proactive and wear the fake smile all the time

I started to write a post, HalfSwede, asking you what a "laughter club" is and then realized I could Google it. They do look a bit . . . <searching for word> different. I didn't click on any of the video links, but I did find out that the first Sunday of May, which is tomorrow, is World Laughter Day.

I've been told to "smile" more often than I can even count! At work especially, it seems to me that others get anxious if we aren't smiling all of the time. Maybe I should look into myself to figure out why I'm not smiling, but I can't help but wonder why others think we should be smiling all of the time.

I know I take life and work too seriously at times - and that is reflected in my face. But people who are always smiling and laughing annoy me. How can anyone always be so happy?

All that said, I actually do try to "fake it until I make it" and force myself to smile even though I might not feel like smiling. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I try not to tell other people to smile, although I might suggest the idea...