[DownfallOfUsAll]

I feel so messed up right now. I just want to stay in bed all day and cry but I can't even do that. I won't let myself cry. I just don't know what I'm doing anymore. I'm doing things I told myself I'd never do. I just ate a load of food pizza and stuff and now I want to throw it all back up. I feel so sick and discusting. My stomach is hurting so much now. Most days I don't eat a lot.. It's just sometimes I can't help but go and buy lots of food even though I'm not hungry.
I just want to go and self harm again even though I already did last night. I'm doing it more frequently. I know it's wrong but I don't want to stop. It's like I want to be messed up.. I'm getting myself into all this.. burying myself deeper and I don't know why. Why am I doing this to myself? Why am I letting myself get so ****ed up?

[SoupDragon]

Hi DownfallOfUsAll- sorry to hear you are having such a hard time right now, do you have a T?

[DownfallOfUsAll]

I just see the councillor at college now.

[SoupDragon]

Does the councillor know how hard it can be for you?

[DownfallOfUsAll]

Well she knows things can be a bit hard for me but I haven't really told her much yet.

[thea_kronborg]

people say this so much that it's almost a cliche, but, food is comfort. eating is normally an act of taking care of yourself. So I think eating like this means that you feel you are in need of comfort or care, which is not surprising if you're also self-harming.

Think about ways you can be nice to yourself. I know that probably sounds crazy to you. It's a hard idea for people to get used to. But try to think of some way you can give yourself a break today.

thea

[DownfallOfUsAll]

I see, Yeah I guess it is. I shall look for ways Thanks!