[Mo0nshadow]

Now I have come to realize that something is very wrong with me….what I have been going through is a little more than a case of the winter time blues. I haven’t felt happy…I haven’t felt satisfied with anything in life in months….now this is not to say that I have not felt “content” in my daily activates or momentary peace, but the unsatisfacation almost outweighs the positives that I may feel. Food never satisfies me…I find myself just not hungry anymore. And yet I eat, I eat because I must not because I want to, and sometimes I eat too much just because there is nothing else to do. Sleep never satisfies me even if I get to sleep as much I want or can I always wake up just wanting to go right back. If I can’t sleep I find myself just lying there for hours. Playing games, hanging out, and even doing things on my own that I enjoy doing never quite satisfies me. At first I thought I had simply perhaps outgrown things that I use to love to do but even doing the things i loved the most I no longer feel any of the pleasure as I use to. I am lonely and yet I am surrounded by people everyday. I get irritated and angry over the smallest of things that I could once laugh and joke about. I get angry with my closest friends when they have done nothign to desereve it. I have been fighting with myself about all of this for a long time. I have been trying to “feel better” for a while but I feel like I am in a hopeless quest.

I have been saying I am depressed for a while but I have never been depressed for this long or to this degree. I feel so lost and hopeless sometimes. I feel as if I am stuck in a rut I am never going to get out of. How can I get myself to be happy again? I want to be my fun loving, laid back self again. I do not have money to go see a psychologist. Any advice or suggestions?

[online user]

Do you have any insurance? If not, try community mental health. Ask if they have counselors available on a sliding scale basis. Try your family doc--tell him/her that you think you are depressed and see if they will give you a script for antidepressants. Try talking with a minister at church--they offer counseling normally as part of their pastoral service. If you are in school, there may be a guidance counselor who could help. There are also self-help books. My favorite (recommended by the pdoc I saw in the hospital) is Burns, "Feeling Good Handbook."

This is the end of winter...you may have seasonal affective disorder. If so, getting some sun every day during the midday hours will help. Worth a try.

Did you take the sanity quiz? That and the depression quizzes here on PC may be helpful to you as well.

[Corianne]

I know sometimes I get concerned because I'm not happy all or even most of the time--but it is the nature of the disease to rob the joy out of life. Set happy aside for a moment--are there things that you can do that make you feel content? Is there something you can do that will stretch you, that you'll feel accomplished at achieving? Sometimes, it's too much to be happy, but that doesn't mean you have to be miserable.

Posting this is a good start. Writing is an excellent therapy for me. Usually, if I can express how I'm feeling in words, it's not as big of a deal anymore. Good luck, Mo0nshadow!

[HalfSwede]

I'm not sure what the pros say about this, but I am trying to figure out what sets me off, what triggers my depression. I don't know if you can look back on specific incidents, or things that happen all the time, and how you react to them, and maybe figure out if you can react differently, change your thinking, perhaps.

Right now I am engaging in catastrophic thinking. I am afraid no one will like me for one reason or another, and I am trying to figure out a different way to look at the situation. Maybe it help if you tried something like that. I hope you find relief from whatever's bothering you.