Dizzy

I actually slept pretty well last night without any sleep aid... and although I slept in I still got out of bed at a reasonable morning hour.

I planned a nice breakfast of some scrambled eggs with cream cheese and a grilled cheese sandwich... but I got sort of "hooked" watching a marathon of the "Avatar" cartoon on Nickelodeon, so I didn't head to the kitchen to eat until about 1 or 2 o'clock. This really isn't unusual for me... it often is my general "routine" for the weekend and when I was short on food I would do it regularly.

So I go down and even finish up my dishes before I start cooking... I have been keeping up with that and I'm proud of it... and when I start mixing the eggs I start to feel a little lightheaded. I figure I'm just hungry and I'll feel better after eating. But it persists and, thankfully, I decide not to push it, so I grab a glass of milk and sit down in my living room. After a few minutes I stood up slowly, went to the kitchen to shut off all the burners, put the eggs in the fridge (they weren't in the pan yet) and went upstairs and ate a donut and another glass of milk. Then I slept for awhile (I really wanted to stay out of bed today) and later in the evening I went down and finished making my scrambled eggs (decided to have chili with them instead of grilled cheese )

So it is not a big deal. I think I might have fainted if I kept going but I feel good about making the right decision to stop.

But it triggered a concern about my health, wondering why this happened and if anything else might hinder me.

I am really really doing well with my depression, with keeping my house clean, and especially with work. I don't want to jeapordize that by not taking care of myself. As a result of cutting down on food spending I think I am also eating a healthier diet than I used to.

But I'm wondering if my spell today had anything to do with keeping my house so cold (I'm still keeping my heat off until I straighten out with the oil company, I still owe them last year's bill and I've been summoned to court over it).

My upstairs is warm during the day, and I'm very comfortable at night, and I've been heating my bathroom with a space heater before showering so I don't get a chill. But the kitchen is very cold, and I'm wondering if the ubrupt change of temperature had to do with it. (It didn't happen right when I went downstairs, but maybe the change weakened my system or something?) It also got me worried about other things. I don't want to get sick. I'm going to ride my scooter to work in the cold as much as I can... I do bundle myself up very well and so far I haven't had a chill but I don't want to push myself too hard.

It is also going to be hard to schedule doctor appointments due to cash and moreso due to lack of transportation. I really do need to find some sort of car but that conflicts with my need to pay for heat.

The one thing I am still not doing well at is phone calls. I've still been putting them off. Calling to start setting up a plan for my credit card debt. Calling the oil company to tell them I intend to pay them. Calling for doctor appointments. Calling to find a new T and pdoc now that I am out of partial. I'll need to contact a pdoc and my regular doc to keep my prescriptions refilled.

The upshot of this is that I am worried about putting myself in denial about these problems. I seriously think that my relapse is because a large part of my recovery over the past year has been due to denial. I couldn't worry about things for fear of getting depressed again but instead I went too far the other way and ignored them. As a result I got my car reposessed, my electricity and phone disconnected, and summoned to court.

I don't want to be in denial about living with no heat until I end up really sick because of it. But I still find myself stagnant (with plenty of reasonable excuses to myself) with regard to taking care of this in a responsible manner.

I'm doing really well right now and I don't want to jeapordize that.

grrr how cold does it get in your home Dexter? Maybe, while you were doing the dishes, you were doing too much "thinking" and were holding your breath some...causing the lightheadedness? I hope it has a simple explanation. I think you are doing good! and often read your positive posts when I know you are struggling... as I struggle and think.. wow Dexter is still trying.. .so can I! TC

Dex, perhaps its a combo of things. Not enough food, and sometimes when sugar is down, you can get dizzy. Also, you mentioned that you're keeping the house cold. When you're cold, you shiver, and muscles tighten up, and the longer your body is trying to keep itself warm, the more 'energy' it burns, which means you need to eat more to maintain that energy.

I'm glad you took care of yourself and didn't push the cooking. Playing it safe is always the best decision.

Hope you get that oil company. In the meantime, wear lots of warm clothes and if you can get a heater (careful it gets shut off and unplugged to avoid a fire), that would help.

You're doing very well. Support is here whenever you need it. Hugs.

I do have a space heater upstairs for my bedroom, my office room, and a special one for my bathroom made to be safe to use in bathrooms. Everyone should know that I am VERY carefull with these... I don't keep them on while I am asleep or out of the house... in the morning my bedroom gets really cold so I scurry out and turn on the bathroom heater and the bedroom heater then get back under the warm covers for a while to let the rooms heat up enough for me to shower, dry and dress without getting a chill.

I am glad I stopped cooking. I sort of had a vision (not a prediction, just a sort of "worst case") of me falling down and having the house catch fire from burning eggs and how I would NOT want to be on the news that evening that way.

I'm not sure I was doing any particular "thinking" while doing the dishes but I understand what you mean. In fact the kitchen doesn't trigger me anymore, when I am depressed, for some reason I always feel a wave of grief when I enter my kitchen... really unexplainable (or rather, some for which I have been unable to find an explanation) almost as if the kitchen were haunted. That's what prompted the "haunted" poem on my website. One thing that is notably different when I am feeling better is that I no longer have that feeling, and the kitchen feels just like any other room in my house.

But while we're thinking about that... I never used to be consistant with doing my dishes before preparing my next meal. So if I waited so long to eat that would be my "excuse" for not doing the dishes currently in the sink. I've been cutting out those excuses, so maybe it is as simple as standing up for the length of time to do the dishes PLUS cook the food that got me.

I also agree that it is likely a combination of things.

Thanks everyone. No such problem today BTW (eggs over easy and grilled cheese ) but I made a point of preparing it earlier. I still napped, that seems to be my toughest hurdle.

Good to hear you keep yourself safe. Too bad the heaters don't have remote controls.

Why is napping a challenge? I love taking naps, especially on the weekends. Heh, that's the only time I can nap.