Christmas is the time of year where there is suppose to be joy, kindness, sharing. People should be happy.

But it is also the time of year when suicide is at its highest point. Why does people get more depresse? I'm one of them by the way so I'm not judging.

I'm really trying this year to overcome this sadness, this depression. It doesn't make any sense to me. I should not go further down. I should be right the opposit. So what is wrong here?

[(JD)]

I think you gave the answer... because people are pressured into the "should" be happy mode... "everyone" is happy... it's a myth, and best if we don't buy into it (as you suggest, we are depressed enough already!) (((((time0))))

I can't speak for anyone else here, but the holidays stir up a great sadness due to many losses.

Loss of family members mainly, and the voids they've left behind. Two would have had birthdays in December (one on Christmas Eve) making their abscence even more blinding, like neon lights that leave you seeing spots.

Also, I think I grieve for the loss of that "normal" Walton-like family. No warm fuzzy memories here, just drunken brawls with the Christmas tree toppling over. A lot of anger during those years growing up, and of course fear mixed with shame.

Even in their beauty, Christmas Carols stop me in my tracks. I am always surprised by the sting of tears.

I try to engage in laughter.

I find it helps me to help others.

But there is still that underlying sadness that I wear like a heavy cloak and I muddle along, waiting for January 2nd.

Petunia

[(JD)]

Yes, we want the holidays to be cheerful... but to live with the "shoulds" well, we fall prey to the "#8" cognitive distortion 8) You try to motivate yourself with "should" and "shouldn't" , as if you have to be whippped and punished before you could be expected to do anything. "Musts" and "oughts" are also issues. The emotional result is feeling guilty.

[Hopefull]

I hope you don't mind if I rant a little. But, I find Christmas to be a guilt producing holiday. No matter what I buy my parents will never like it. So, I usually end up buying them nothing. Also I don't make much which makes me buy cheap gifts for everybody. This adds guilt. Also it adds stress to my life. Stress plus me equals sadness to some degree. It is just the way that I function. So I always get sad for a part of the holiday season and feel a sense of relief once it is over.

[Lexicon78]

The holidays are depressing I think because we have had so many losses, so much pressure to give to everyone, too many high expectations, way too much stress, need I go on?

[EJ711]

Time0,
This had been a tough holiday season for me as well. Sometimes I need to be down, to go up again. It's like I'm in a swimming pool, and need to find out where the bottom is, and then push off again and swim to the top. It sounds to me like you are being true to your feelings, which is a painful to do. I hope you're feeling better soon. Eighteen days to Christmas. Personally, I can't wait to get through this Christmas season this year.

Jane - Oz

[(JD)]

Just got time to make another quick comment tonight... T has often had to help me through holidays by assuring me to think "It's just another day." and you know what? once the day is passed.. yeah maybe so... tc

[SeptemberMorn]

What works for me is to accept what is. If there's anything I can do to change things, I do. If I can't, then I do the best with what I've got.

The Serenity Prayer

God (whoever or whatever he is to you)
grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

Thank you for replying!

I'm still trying here and doing my best. I guess we are all doing our best.


Love you all

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((((Time0)))))))))))))))

Here's your snowflake to cheer you up...

[Overcastbutclearing]

Time0........sorry you are feeling more sad as it is getting closer to the big Holiday Day.
I hope you find something that sincerely makes you smile from head to toe.
((((time0))))

[StargazerLily]

i dont know about joy happiness and all that. i'm still at home (17 yrs old). my dad has terrible temper. maybe a military thing. last year was alright cause he just got back from iraq and we werent used to being around each other and gradparents were here, so he couldnt show off too much. but the years when its just us, we're never thankful enough for gifts, the camera isnt focused just right, the pictures arent bright enough, we're too loud, we made too much of a mess with our new gifts, or put them away too soon. you dont know which way to go with him, and you certainly cant just stand still. no matter what it can be a negative reaction. always leaving us guessing.

but this year..it should be better. i'll spend the morning opening up presents by the tree, and then i go to work. just signed up to work on christmas day yesterday. 6 hours at work and when i get home, the day should be gone.

christmas was never my favorite holiday. 3 weeks home with the family 24/7. ick. thats the reason i stay in school, to get away from the family and hopefully stay intact with most of my sanity.

booooo winter, i'm all for halloween.

Kay