[addipaddi]

So this is so screwed.
I had a terrible terrible week last week and i think i need to go back on my anti-depressants but i cant just yet as i have an operation tomorrow.
Anyway.

The weekend just been was pretty much AMAZING - i never ever thought i could be so so happy.
BUT, trouble is, all the happiness was brought on by bad things and came with consequences.
Me and my best friend decided not to tell anyone the full extent of what happened but i will let you know in breif.

Went to a different town for a gig.
Got DUI or DIC whereever you are from (aka. Drink drive) which means i have to go to court, pay a huge fine and then get my license taken off me.
Then we decided the night couldnt get any worse, did E, got real drunk and made a huge point of doing lots of stuff thats illegal just BECAUSE.

Now i want so badly to experience this type of happiness again, LOTS!
but wish there was some other way to do it!!

If this is what it takes i really do not have the funds to be happy!!

[lastyearisblank]

Yes rebellion is quite nice but is not always compatible with rest and healing! Good luck with the operation tomorrow.
The other thing which I'm sure you know is that if you hit someone with their car it would have hurt both them and you quite badly. So do take care!

[Leed]

Your idea of 'having fun' is a bit dangerous!!! For one thing, combining "E" with booze is asking for trouble. You could have killed yourself or SOMEONE ELSE while you were 'having fun.'

This desire to do things that are illegal & dangerous needs to be addressed. If you could talk to a therapist, it would be in your best interests !! What you're doing is almost a "death wish."

Are you depressed most of the time?

Please see a therapist before something tragic happens. God bless. Hugs, Lee

[addipaddi]

I have seen a therapist but i dont think anything is working as i feel i have to lie to her so she doesnt look down on me.
And yes, i am depressed most of the time.