Realisation

Okay, it's been a while since I've gone to the doctors about any of this (almost two years), and while I thought I was getting better, I've realised lately that I'm actually not, so I've got to do something about it, with treatment of some sort. Therapy, counselling, medication...*something*.

I'm scared stiff but I know I have to do it. I want whatever it is and my depression diagnosed and some idea of what I'm going to do, because I can't keep going on like this. It's gotten to the point where I see three roads - the road that leads to the big, rocky cliffs, the road that I'm on now, where I carry on as I am, ruining myself and every relationship or any chance of a relationship with my family/friends/potential boyfriend, and the road to recovery, where I go to the doctors and I get on with my life.

The cliffs...it's like they're big and rocky and so, so scary but the water's so...calm and serene. And it pains me to think that, that I'm thinking going over these imaginary cliffs and bringing everything to an end will make things alright. It shouldn't have gotten this far, to the point where I'm actually thinking it.

I'm sorry, I know I make no sense.

I have to get treated. I have to get this thing sorted out.

I've no idea how though. Do I just...*go* to the doctors?

{{{{Lost}}}} I'm so sorry to hear you are feeling this way. If there is no danger to yourself at present (active suicidal/self harming thoughts). Then yes, schedule an appointment with your medical doctor and tell him what's been going on. He should be able to help with anti-depressants.

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I want whatever it is and my depression diagnosed

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If you think there is more than depression, make an appointment with a local mental health facility and they can screen you (via question and answer session) if what you are feeling goes beyond depression. If you choose, you can skip the medical doctor and let the mh facility diagnose the depression. If you do this, be sure to let your medical doctor know if you are taking any meds.

If you feel there is possibility that you will actively harm yourself or act on any suicide thoughts, then go to the nearest emergency room and tell them you are suicidal and not feeling safe.

Best of luck and take care of yourself.

Yes, I think you should go see a doctor about all of this. He/she may be able to help you get on the right road.

Hang in there.

I think the knowing that you need help is a great start. Yes, calling the doctor is the first step. Be honest just as you have been here. Even taking a copy of this with you may help the Doc understand how your are feeling. I know sometimes it is hard for me to explain verbally, so writing makes it easier for me to express myself (sometimes).

Please hang in there and please keep us posted.



Huggles.


Jen

Thanks, all of you .

I haven't as yet made an appointment, and I doubt I'd get one before Christmas, but I'll try . Any idea on how to go about talking to my parents about this? They're the sort to go "oh get on with it". I don't want lots of attention from them but I'd feel a lot better knowing my parents were *slightly* sympathetic to the problem, if you know what I mean...if only for the support!