[Elana05]

where I am today.

I feel so down. I feel like a fish-out-of-water at work. I was recently hired and worked very hard to fill in for someone who had just quit. Then that person came back and now they want to relagate me to 10 hours a week. It's no surprise, it's a little more along the lines of what I signed up for. I just thought they would recognize that I had really helped them out when they needed it. But, to be honest, I just never understand the office environment. I try to act like the others, and pretend to be energetic. Some days it's easier. Some days it is all I can do to keep from crying. I feel confused by people and strongly dislike others (in authoritative positions) telling me what to do. I get so triggered by that that I cringe. But I put up with it because that's what work is; having other people telling you what to do.
I have had a lump in my throat and stomach since I woke up this morning. All I want to do is cry, to disappear. But I have pushed through the day.

Then the last thing that happened was my watch broke. It's a new watch. I got it last year and I love it. I dropped it and the glass face broke. It was just the last disappointment in a sad day. I wrote the company to see if I could fix it or replace it. Who knows if I'll ever hear back. It was my own fault. I just feel so sad.

[NoDestinyLive4Now]

Originally Posted by Elana05

where I am today.

I feel so down. I feel like a fish-out-of-water at work. I was recently hired and worked very hard to fill in for someone who had just quit. Then that person came back and now they want to relagate me to 10 hours a week. It's no surprise, it's a little more along the lines of what I signed up for. I just thought they would recognize that I had really helped them out when they needed it. But, to be honest, I just never understand the office environment. I try to act like the others, and pretend to be energetic. Some days it's easier. Some days it is all I can do to keep from crying. I feel confused by people and strongly dislike others (in authoritative positions) telling me what to do. I get so triggered by that that I cringe. But I put up with it because that's what work is; having other people telling you what to do.
I have had a lump in my throat and stomach since I woke up this morning. All I want to do is cry, to disappear. But I have pushed through the day.

Then the last thing that happened was my watch broke. It's a new watch. I got it last year and I love it. I dropped it and the glass face broke. It was just the last disappointment in a sad day. I wrote the company to see if I could fix it or replace it. Who knows if I'll ever hear back. It was my own fault. I just feel so sad.

I work in an office. I can do the work, and I am intelligent. Sometimes people who have been there longer try to tell me what to do in a semi-condescending way because they think it is funny and builds their fragile ego. I have my ways of dealing with it.

Do you want to be in an office environment forever? I know I don't, but I'm sure as heck glad to have a JOB! I'd hate to lose it. This is my "good enough for now" position. Maybe your job can be one of those too.

Are the people who are in authority rude or something? Just because someone is in authority doesn't mean they are better than you. Someone has to be in charge, even if they are stupid. I don't care--- I'm biding my time. Maybe you should consider this as a transition while you look for better things, yah? Sorry about your watch-- like adding insult to injury but at least it isn't a car that broke.

[madisgram]

sorry bout your watch. i'd check with jewelers to see if they can replace the glass or order one for you.

workplace stress
elana it seems some of your learned coping skills being ACOA are indicated in your thread. here's why i'm suggesting that:
"But, to be honest, I just never understand the office environment. I try to act like the others, and pretend to be energetic. Some days it's easier. Some days it is all I can do to keep from crying. I feel confused by people and strongly dislike others (in authoritative positions) telling me what to do. I get so triggered by that that I cringe. But I put up with it because that's what work is; having other people telling you what to do."
try to be easier on yourself at work.
your bosses are just doing their job and you can learn to be a team player. their "telling you what to do" is not personal. it's their responsibility to get the work done.
know that your being yourself rather than mimicking others is OK. and a reminder, you're ok. be pleasant but be your true self. you have a lot to offer!
are u still going to ACOA? i think it would help as well as talking about these things in therapy. i used to say "i don't do life well". by my working on this confusion it made my life much better by understanding the underlying causes and ways tio overcome them.
sorry for the long post.

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((( Elana05 ))))))))))))))

[justfloating]

((((((((((((Elana)))))))))))))

I'm sorry work has been difficult for you lately. I agree with madisgram, try to be your wonderful self at the office and don't take what your bosses tell you personally. Remind yourself that it's just business. It doesn't always make sense and it can be unfair, but it has nothing to do with who you are as a person and you are not the only one who doesn't understand why things work the way they do. Congratulate yourself for simply getting through the day. Your bosses may not recognize your hard work, but your friends here at PC do and we're proud of you!