Mom and nurse laughed at me when I said I was stressed

Something happened today that has left me really upset. I went to the doctor to get an athletic physical and check out the progress of an old injury, and there was a packet that was required to be filled out to give to the doctor and school. So I filled all of them out, honestly, and there was one question "do you feel stressed?". So I checked yes.

Let me tell you something. I am not a complainer. I am very contained and hide my emotions very well. But I have let my mother know I am not at ease mentally and am now in therapy, diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I actually planned to talk about the possibility of anti-anxiety or anti-depression meds today...

Well, we were in the room with the nurse filling out some things and my mom was reviewing the packet since I am very far sighted and had skipped somethings. Then suddenly, she just bursts out in a loud, amused laughter and just keeps laughing and laughing, saying "____ checked 'yes' on when it asked if she was stressed!" And then the nurse started laughing and laughing too, like it was the funniest thing they'd heard. It was a real stab, and I felt instantly hurt and upset and I wanted to cry. They were laughing so hard, at something so inappropriate to laugh at in the first place. I instantly regretted telling the truth in the packet and tried to cover it up and say "Pfft. well you know band camp, that's stressful stuff!" (and truthfully, it is, since I'm being stalked by my ex abuser and getting hammered at every wrong step I take not to mention I'm the target of many upperclassmens amusement...) And then the nurse, who sounded near tears, chortled, "If you think band camp is stressful, don't become a nurse!" So then I grabbed the freaking paper, and grabbed a pen and tried to mark it off and say "no" but the nurse grabbed it away.

My mom was still laughing and then when she saw I was actually pissed at her reaction, she said, "What, can't take a joke?" WTH? Is that even something to be joking about?!! Why is it so hard to believe that I actually feel something other than positive emotions??!!? They acted like, because I am only 14, that I know absolutely nothing about stress and pain. But THEY AREN'T THE ONES WHO HAVE GONE THROUGH SO MUCH ABUSE AND HURT AND R***. They aren't the ones with PTSD!! I'm so upset and I feel like no-one cares and I'm worthless and not even able to be taken seriously for once in my life. And now I'll never, or at least for my teenage years, be able to get some damn medicated happiness that'll at least keep me from feeling like I want to just die all the time.

sil
i am so sorry that these adults were so ignorant of your needs. it must be horrible for you. the benefit is that you are in therapy and can discuss your thoughts about needing medication with your therapist who in turn can discuss them with your parent, who then will finally take the situation seriously. i worry that you are under the false belief that the medication will bring you happiness though. medication does not do that. medication only reduces symptoms of depression or anxiety (i dont know which you are going for here) so that you are able to use your coping skills better. the happiness is still up to you.

i wish you luck. again. im so sorry these adults hurt you like this. i would like to slap them for you.

Thank you.. it means a lot. If it will even just help, even just a little bit, I'll take it if I can. I have T tomorrow, and I plan to discuss it, and try to gouge this mess inside of me out.

I second what Kaliope said. your stress is real. by the time I was 14 I had been through so much, and had no one to talk to about it. it makes you want to shut down. it is really insensitive when grown ups act like kids don't have 'real' stress in their lives. It has to be because they were not stressed when they were young and they just don't understand. please hang in there.

I can relate

My father told me there's "no way YOU can best stressed at YOUR age"

I was 15 and my mother had recently died.

Parents can be such arses.

Thank you. And yeah, they just don't seem to understand that teenagers are not only limited to that typical "teen angst" and that it sometimes goes beyond that... and that things happen that they don't know about - but that it still isn't right for them to assume just because they SEEM fine and in good hands that they really are.

Exactly... Age is only a number in these situations.

I find that some adults seem to think children and teenagers cannot be stressed. They often forget that everyone is an individual and that yes, even those younger than 20 can suffer from what is known as stress. There are many, though, that understand. I was 11 (almost 12) when I received my first diagnosis of depression. My mom knew then. But I told her recently that it hasn't gone away and I will never forget the way I felt when she snorted and asked me what I have to be depressed about. Age really is only a number. What that nurse did was completely unprofessional. You'd think - being a nurse - she would be a bit more understanding than that. I can't say that I know how you feel, but I can say that I've experienced that at around that age, too. I think I would like to slap them, as well.

Babies get stressed!

Wow. Just wow. That nurse shouldnt be working there if she is that rude. Now i feel bad for you lol. Just hang in there and i support that you should talk to your therapist about it though.

I'm so sorry they were so cruel to you! Stress can happen at any age...I was a little kid when I first began feeling the symptoms of stress and major depression.
Your mom was way out of line when she publicly pointed out something you had written on a private medical form, and the nurse needs to be reprimanded for her behavior. Her supervisor should know how rudely she behaved. I'm a nurse and it makes me feel so bad when I hear these stories. Some people just shouldn't be care providers. I'm in awe of her behavior...
I hope things start to mellow out for you! I know it is so hard when you have people around who are meant to protect you not doing their jobs..

You are in my thoughts, siljie.

Thank you for all the insight, empathy, and sympathy. I'm feeling a little better about it today, but I have a T session too so I'll talk about it there. It means a lot.

Update: Well, we talked about it in session today. And we brought my mom in and discussed it and told her about my diagnosis... Well, in the end, it turned out okay and I have an appointment with a P-doc tomorrow to get anti-anxiety meds prescribed.

Siljie I'm so sorry they laughed at you. They are supposed to be adults?
Stress can happen to anyone, no matter their circumstances. Newborns can feel stress!
You have a right to your feelings; no one can take that away from you.

Oh man, Siljie, your post sure hit home in me. I'm 28 now, so I think I qualify as an adult , and I have taken a very stressful career trajectory since I started college. Plus the normal adult stresses... paying the rent, maintaining a stable relationship with my partner, dealing with student loans and nightmare bosses an coworkers. Yep, it's stressful to be an adult.

But my early teen years were probably the most stressful time in my life. I would rather redo my entire doctoral degree than be a teenager again.

I'm sorry you feel so trapped Siljie. But it gets better, I promise.

[And I know it's tough to do this with family members and friends, but when strangers laugh at you... try to see them as the sad, sorry folks they are. Just think, they are so unhappy in their lives that it makes them feel better to shame a kid they've never met? That's just pathetic. I imagine myself saying to that nurse, "Wow, your life must really suck if laughing at Siljie makes you feel good. I guess it's a good thing I'm not a nurse, too!"]

Thank you again, everyone. And I really like that, the "your life must really suck..etc." Made me smile. But it is also so true...

Went to p-doc today and got prescribed lexapro(long term anti anxiety), alpralozam(short term fast working anti anxiety), and melatonin(sleep aid, insomnia).

Everyone basically said what I would say. Adolescence is an extreme;y difficult time. Maybe your mom and nurse are too far removed from that age to remember. It was 20 years ago for me, but it seems like yesterday. All the emotional as well as physical pain. Sometimes it got to be too much to bear and I often contemplated a way out. I had no one to talk to and nothing like this website. Do what you need to do to be well and know there are folks out there that understand and are willing to help.

Wow! You're only 14? You write so intelligently for your age. :]
Anyway, I know how that can feel like when adults only think that they can feel stressed. It annoys the hell out of me. Look, those adults don't know what you have been through and I'm sorry that you had to go through that. They should have responded better, like ask you if there was something wrong as to why you are feeling stressed. But don't let this get you down. If you have to, sit down with your mother and talk to her about your concerns as to why you are stressed and have her understand that you feel this way and that you need her support.
Again, I'm sorry that this had to happen to you. I hope you get the treatment and the respect that you need.

Try to use the benzo sparingly. I have heard that they are easy to get addicted to.

I am glad that you are fighting for your mental health. Remember to keep open lines with your pdoc and look into therapy if you can afford it. You are still really young so it will be easier for you to confront your problems and change your habits. It seems that as we get older they become harder to tackle.