why do therapists want you to describe depression as an object?

I've had two therapists ask me to describe depression as an object. It doesn't make sense to me. One of them said he thinks the depression is outside of me. So I guess the idea is to believe it's separate from you. How do you do that? Does that make sense to anyone? I'm not sure how you decide which of your thoughts, feelings, actions, etc are depression

Hello, Learning1!
I've never had a therapist ask that question, but I haven't had too many therapists. I have at times imagined depression as a kind of unnatural "growth" inside me, but far more often experience depression as a disease of the will, as volitional paralysis or decay.
Did he explain what he meant? Was he saying yours is an exogenous or situational depression?

learning1,

I think you have a valid question there, I don't think depression is an object at all.

Here is what I do think depression is so far:

Many times it has been said that depression is "anger turned inwards"
And I can see that being true, but what would cause that to happen?

Depression (I believe) occurs from someone's lack to learn how to have a personal reward system for themselves. And I do feel that this can start in early childhood from a lack of actually learning it in the very important years of developement.

Depression can also come from a condition where a personal reward system may have been obtained BUT was severely damaged by an occurance or the actions of others.

Depression means a genuine lack of the ability to proceed and a constant question of not understanding why. And it also is a question of "HOW".

Depression is not an object at all, it is much more complex than just one object.
And it can also be a result of many failed attempts to find personal rewards through obtaining objects or even the inability to view things objectively.

Within each human being is the capacity to obtain different degrees of knowledge. But there are also may receptors that allow humans to find ways to build a self sustaining reward systems. We cannot just see the word happy and understand what it means unless we learn how to experience it. And even more importantly we must learn how to accept that we can be happy.

Depression can be a very personal limitation. In other words, Depression can be a result of a personal genuine lack of "HOW" to actually have a self reward existance.

Depression is not something that can be learned by intellectualizing it. Though we can intellectualize the aspects of it, we must learn how to slowly overcome it by learning how to allow ourselves to experience a personal reward system.

Each human being will make several attempts throughout his/her lifetime to find a self sustaining reward system. This begins at a very early age. If the efforts of an individual do not lend to achieving happiness through simple efforts in the beginning, the outlook becomes difficult as time progresses.

Society often tells us that happiness is obtained through posessing objects. Society also tells us that happiness is a certain appearance as well. And Society has managed to also tell us that education, and social standing are necessary components to being happy. And nature itself provides a built in reward system that allows for simple purposes, nourishment, shelter, and reproduction, and desire to survive and happiness will come as we fulfill these requirements.

It is no wonder that we find ourselves confused about how to actually be "happy" and "self fulfilled".

In many ways we have taken the simplicities of happiness and overloaded it with a tremendous amount of complexities. Therefore we often think that happiness is just too complex to truely obtain and sustain.

If, when we are young and trying to understand "happiness" and how to feel it and accept it and find ways to sustain it, we are presented with too many complexities we cannot understand? We find it very difficult to understand happiness and how to sustain it.

Oh here is a good example of what happiness is to a child, "Tonite is Wednesday and that means it is our special night where I take you to that top hamburger place and you get to have a "HAPPY MEAL". And there you go, because in reality that is not how to teach a child what happy is, a meal that is now under great scrutiny over it's actual nutritional value and a prize that has often proven to be a choking hazzard. We are so busy that happiness it a to-go item and we don't even stop and recognize that we are presenting it that way.

I personally feel that this is one of the major reasons why we have a rising number of humans that are depressed. It has become very complex and completely overwhelming in our day to day lives. Our exectations are too high and demanding now. It is about how much we are pushed to consume and accomplish beyond our capacity. A constant assumption that we NEED to have certain things to be "HAPPY".

I have to take into consideration a constant desire spoken from all humans that are depressed. "I need a break, too much too fast, to many things to think about, too many people, too many objects to be owned. "How can I simplify?"

I am still thinking on Depression, and I can only do so much, because it is depressing to think about Depression. But this is what I think so far.

Open Eyes

Thanks for your long and thoughtful post Open Eyes. The thing about the personal reward system is sticking in my mind.

I think of depression as very very similar to anger, like you said, anger turned inwards. Turning it outwards is some advice I picked up from feminism. Although I understand that it's important to change some of the injustices in the world, using anger doesn't usually work very well for me. Current t showed me to show some vulnerability instead of anger. That worked a little bit in a relationship. Mainly I keep wondering how/why to be happy when people treat each other so badly. When that's happening to someone else, I know it could easily be happening to me.

I don't ever recall a therapist saying that to me, but I don't know that particular tactic would work on me. Psychobabble just makes me roll my eyes usually. In fact, most of their tactics just makes me look at them funny. Maybe that's why I haven't been back to therapy for a few years. lol I imagine I would laugh if someone told me to describe my depression as an object.

But if I had to, it would be something like a rope that ties me up, or a tourniquet, iron lung, chains...something like that. Something that holds me down, holds me back, and keeps me from doing anything. Then, the act of trying to break free of it is so exhausting, there's not much energy left to do anything besides fight the bad feelings.

Okay, so maybe describing it as an object works just a little bit...

I have never had a therapist ask me to describe depression as an object. Unfortunately for many of who suffer with these debilitating bouts of depression we buy into the idea that we are not in control of our thoughts at all. I disagree with the idea that depression exercises control of our lives. I feel that our comfort zones are the nesting place for our depression. Even though we all know that there must be something better out there for us we continue to thrive despite our inability to betray the betrayer that taught us to be what we are, not what we really are. Depression is confusing and sometimes to all encompassing denying us the opportunity to begin to heal from within. The lack of the proper tools for coping have us all trapped in a dark place called
memory.We all need to find out about coping skills but without being properly introduced to the option available to us so that we can learn to take one problem at a time, one day at a time, we will be forever doomed to feelings of hopelessness. I think we can all agree that this is not where we want to be, EVER!