[cupcake1223]

there are so many things going on in my life right now, and i really can't handle it by myself. my boyfriend broke up with me like a month ago, and ever since then i have tried convincing him to be my friend, and i thought it was working, until just a few minutes ago. he pretty much told me he never wanted to be friends in the first place and that i needed to learn to deal with my problems without his help. i know he was just trying to help me, but he doesnt understand that i cant deal with everything on my own. he thinks im strong enough, but i dont. my mom just broke up with my stepdad because he hit her and i had to watch helplessly. we are homeless now and staying on the floor of somebodys living room. i feel like everything in my life is falling apart, and i dont know how to handle it. i just need to find a way to get rid of all this pain and hurt and betrayal im feeling inside, and dont know how to do it. i just need a way out of the pain, and sometimes it feel like dying is the only way to do that. but then i feel so ashamed because my religion says if you commit suicide, you'll go to hell. but when i think of that, i just feel more and more pain. i feel like im a nuisance to other people, like my ex boyfriend. i hate being dependent on other people, but i dont know any other way to deal with all of this that im going though. i just really wish he could see that i love him so much and that i have done so much for him. all i ask in return is that he be my friend. he doesnt understand that when i make friends, it's for a lifetime. i cant just drop people and never speak to them again. its just not me. i feel like nobody ou there supports me or anything i do. i just really wish there was somebody out there who understood me and who could tell me that i am a good person. on the outside, everybody thinks that im ok, but in reality, im dying inside. the pressure just keeps on building up and i dont know if i can take it anymore. i just really need somebody reliable in my life that doesnt expect me to deal with things on my own because i just cant do that. i really hope you can help me... thank you for at least listening...

[Placeholder]

I am sorry to hear you are going through this. I am a lot older than you and I still battle with the urge to to reach out to my exes when I need support but it takes a long time to get to that place where interactions aren't charged and confusing if you ever can.

One thing I wish I had known when I was younger was how many resources there are in my community for people up to age 24. Have you explored that at all? I would do this for you but I am on an iPad which makes it difficult, but try googling for a national youth hotline. They will listen and might know of some resources for you. I take breakups really hard and know how they make you completely unable to deal with more disruptions in life. Your ex very well could come around with space and time and be able to be your friend. Try distracting yourself from thinking about his rejection too much. I know it's really hard.

S.

[Placeholder]

I am a lot older than you and I still battle with leaning on my ex too soon after a breakup. He may come around with some space and time. Some of my best friends are exes but it took a little while to get there. It is very confusing and charged when you are vulnerable with someone you've been intimate with.

I wish I had known when I was your age how many resources there were for young people in my community. I of course don't know where you live or how old you are but if you are under 21 try calling a youth hotline. They will listen and might know some resources form you and your mom.

I take breakups hard and any upset that happens right after gets magnified four times. It will get better. Try to distract yourself from your ex's rejection and focus on more neutral sources of support for right now. And do not be afraid to check out some battered women's shelters, they can be a really wonderful safe place to stay so that you and your mom can work out your next steps rather than needing to find a place to sleep for the night.

S.

[Rohag]

Hello & Welcome, Cupcake1223!

Wow.

• recent personal breakup with severe accompanying emotional turmoil
• disheartening post-breakup interactions
• witness to violence against a loved one
• recent family breakup
• recent homelessness

On top of everything your post indicates you are a sensitive, caring person who feels acutely. You must be in agony.

Have you tried to contact help? Please keep posting.