[shyemovamp]

I have been in depression all my life. Ever since I started school actually. I have been bullies through grade school and i still am in college. I dont know what makes people attack me when I have done nothing to them.
I am happily engaged but this depression that i am in is ruining my relationship with him. i hate hurting him. I cant let things go. He has tried to help me but it just doesnt seem enough alot of times.
I have also had alot of family problems. My family lies about alot of things behind my back. If something goes wrong i am the one that is targeted alot. I feel like i dont belong.
There is alot more going on but I dont want to put everything down. This has taken me to suicidal thoughs alot of times. the things that i have done to help is cutting, poetry, stories, and talking to people i know. The people i talk to seems like they dont listen all the way. I need true help not fake.
So please if anyone out there can help me im desperate

Hey Vamp! Sorry I didn't see your post sooner. How are you doing today? I don't know your whole story but would like to know more. I do understand about bullies though. I had that pretty much all the way through school. Not fun.

Hope you're well. Tell us more.

[Placeholder]

I can definitely relate to your family issues. One thing that helped me was to just not react to them. Instead I just acted like a healthy person would even though the family dynamics weren't healthy.

I think a lot of times that kind of behavior is masked pain and if you do little things to show them there's no need for all the drama to get attention it helps. After you get used to it it's actually kind of fun to watch people have to figure out what to do when you are refusing to play their games. Politely refusing, so they can't actually point to anything you are doing "wrong" but still refusing.

Once the energy is freed up from pointless family drama you'll have more for the rest of your life.

S

[kendurah218]

Are you on any medication or seeing anyone?