[nicoleb2]

My pdoc gave me a new med for sleep because i was only getting 2-3 hours of sleep.
This new med allows me to sleep for 6-7, but makes me so exhausted that I can't function for most of the next day.
It makes me have no emotions. I am just existing.
2 nights ago, I SI'd pretty seriously just to keep myself from doing something more drastic.
I am not suicidal now, but am at the point that I don't want to be me anymore. If this is the me that I have to be forever, I don't know how to keep myself going.

[Rohag]

Hello, Nicoleb2!

Originally Posted by nicoleb2

This new med allows me to sleep for 6-7, but makes me so exhausted that I can't function for most of the next day. It makes me have no emotions. I am just existing.

The new med ameliorates one problem and creates -- or exacerbates -- two others. Similar has happened to me. I'm sorry.

I hope your doctors consider this carefully in planning the next steps.

[nicoleb2]

I saw T today. It wasn't as bad as I was expecting.

It was hard. I had to do a chain analysis (a dbt thing), which basically required me to write down the thoughts I was having, body sensations, emotions and actions I did leading up to cutting.

I was having a really hard time with it, because I really couldn't identify what emotion went with some of the thoughts I had.

T helped me realize that some of it was rage, which I never would have even considered given what my picture of rage was in my head.

It makes a lot of sense.