I was diagnosed a few months ago

/19 year old male

with depression, but I'm not convinced. I don't feel sadness all that much, mainly just emptiness/apathy and a feeling that I can't relate to anyone. I sometimes feel like I'd be better off not existing and get urges to SI. I've been described medication, but I don't want to take it. I just feel as though I don't really want anything in this life. This has been the predominant mood for the better part of 3 years.

May sound like a stupid question, but any chance this isn't depression and just a phase?

a 3 year faze, i dont think so, you have depression but if you dont wont to take meds, then dont an stay as you are.

so what are you currently doing in your life? and what you want to do?

It may be a phase of being lost. But when lost one should try what they can to find their way out.

It does sound reminiscent of depression, but depression can be chronic or episodic. Just because you've been given a diagnostic label doesn't mean the way you're feeling has to be a permanent thing. I find it can actually be useful for researching how to stop feeling this way. Now you have a word to search when looking for things that can help bring you out of this pattern of thoughts/feelings. You don't have to let the label define you or hold you to this way of being. Many people come out of depressions.

Sounds like depression to me. I was in denial for a long time too. Just accepted to so you can treat it.

I work full time through family connections. Nothing else. And in my original post I said "I just feel as though I don't really want anything from this life". That's a large chunk of the problem.

I sort of...lack the motivation to?

It's hard to explain, but I sort of don't have the drive for self-growth? I'm not sure whether I experience it in episodes or not, because maybe the residual effect post-episode leaves feelings of discontent. I guess I've just been stuck in this "don't care/life is pointless" mindset for quite a while, and I don't know whether it is an actual clinical condition or a cynical/immature attitude.

You seem to have an idea what,s WRONG , mabye its not depression and you just lack get up an go . Your thinking far to well to be depressed, I think your mabye just pissed off with your life pattern, if thats the case its up to you to change it.

You mentioned a period of three years. What were you before that? What enthusiasm did you have then? What changed and do you know why? It's long for just a phase but then again the teenage years are usually rough on all of us. Untreated depression frequently gets worse . Do the meds help in any way? Medication is frequently not lifelong and can jumpstart people through difficult times. I wouldn't so easily dismiss it. Whoever prescribed it saw something and they thought it would help you. Like one of the posts recommended--you could look at all the other ways to help fight depressive episodes---it might help.

My first episode was at approx. 16 and it took years of me being clueless and isolated to what I was going through, but I eventually came out of it only when a good job came along. There's help and medication much more readily gotten today.

not a stupid question. I have a question for you too. Who is prescribing the medication? are you going to therapy as well? Maybe to explore some of these questions therapy would be a good start, if you aren't going already.

hope the people who comment helped so far , for me i don't have the cure for your problem
i'm just gonna put you in my prayers ! love .